The right and need of a child to a father

This letter was sent to The Straits Times Forum, was edited and considered for publication, but was not published.

It is shocking to learn that around 10,000 children have been born to unmarried mothers over the past 10 years (“Time to do away with ‘illegitimacy’”; 13 May). 

Sex does not always make babies, but neither does it always make babies exactly according to our plans. It is a serious enterprise, to be engaged in only by those prepared to become mothers and fathers.
It is critical that we address the root issues by teaching the right values in sexuality education. The hardships faced by an unwed mother are real, a consequence that can be prevented by not engaging in premarital sex.

Who remembers the most important right and need of Lorraine, to be loved and cared for by her father? ("Unwed mum adopts own biological daughter"; May 11) What Lorraine needs most is a father’s love, far more than any material benefit. 

Using adoption to sever ties and to gain access to benefits the same as a married couple, suggests a loophole in the Adoption of Children Act. Singles should not be allowed to adopt children. ("Adopted children deserve the best family environment too"; Feb 9) 

The government’s interest in marriage is in ensuring that children have fathers and mothers who are involved in their lives. As the marriage culture collapses, child poverty and crime rise. Welfare spending bankrupts a country.

Single or unwed mothers should be made aware of their children’s rights under the law, and their ability to claim maintenance from the father of the child. 

Law and policy should neither send the message that fathers are irrelevant to the upbringing of the child, nor reflect the idea that child-rearing is solely the mother’s responsibility.
No citizen is automatically entitled to benefits from the Government. There is a difference between government benefits to incentivise public goods such as marriage and family and extension of welfare to mitigate social costs. The needs of single mothers are arguments for the latter. 

Adopting a child-focused approach helps to balance between supporting unwed mothers and supporting parenthood within marriages. 


Reply from Ministry of Social and Family Development

We thank Ms Lynne Tan Sok Hiang, Dr Lee Woon Kwang and the Association of Women for Action and Research for their letters (Legitimate or not, every child is important, May 15; All children deserve equal treatment, Forum Online, May 14 and; Time to do away with 'illegitimacy', Forum Online, May 13 , respectively).

We recognise the challenges that many unwed mothers face.

This is why, currently, all Singaporean children get to enjoy the entire suite of Government benefits that support their growth and development, regardless of the marital status of their parents.

The benefits include the Medisave grant for newborns, infant care and childcare subsidies and foreign domestic worker levy concession.

All Singaporean children also have access to social assistance, education and healthcare subsidies.

On top of these, the Child Development Account benefits and Government-Paid Maternity Leave were recently extended to include unwed mothers and their children.

Benefits such as the Baby Bonus Cash Gift and housing benefits are tied to the parent's marital status.

The benefits will not be extended even if an unwed mother adopts her own child, as they are meant to encourage parenthood within marriage.

Unwed mothers who require more support may approach any Social Service Office for financial assistance or Family Service Centre for socio-emotional support.

Unwed mothers do not benefit more from government policies and schemes even if they adopt their own children.

However, unwed mothers may seek to adopt their own children for personal reasons, such as to terminate the rights and responsibilities of the biological fathers and establish themselves as the sole parent.

This is a decision to be weighed carefully, factoring in the best interests of the child.

The effect of the adoption would mean that there is no longer a parental relationship between the child and his or her biological father.

The child would also not be able to seek maintenance from the father under the Women's Charter.

http://www.straitstimes.com/forum/letters-in-print/no-extra-perks-if-unwed-mums-adopt-own-children