Hard to convince the public of the legitimacy of the landmark ruling

This letter was sent to Voices@TODAY but was not published.

It is bewildering that the judges found a lack of evidence to show that the applicant had set out to deliberately go against the Government’s policy against forming same-sex family units (“After landmark judgment, gay couples seeking adoption may find it harder to convince the courts: Desmond Lee; Dec 19).

The applicant and his partner first approached the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) to ask about adopting a child, but were told it was unlikely to recommend adoption to a homosexual couple.

The applicant then flew to the US where, through in-vitro fertilisation procedures, he paid US$200,000 (S$275,000) for the child to be artificially created (“Government policy review will be a mammoth task after gay man’s legal win, experts say”; Dec 19).

The intent of the applicant to circumvent the laws of our land to form a same-sex family unit is not incomprehensible to the general public.

It is unfortunate that it takes this case to unravel the fact that the MSF had backed 10 of 14 adoption bids that involved surrogacy procedures performed overseas between 2008 and 2018, although the provision of such services is illegal here.

If surrogacy is “the commodification of a woman as effectively a baby machine” and a child is robbed of his need and right to know both his father and his mother, it is wrong. If surrogacy is wrong, no regulation can make it right. It is wrong in all context. Every legislation involves morality.

Why would the High Court give a hypothetical example of a set of five parents in a polyamorous relationship when this is more of a comparison of parenting by persons in same-sex relations versus parenting by dual-sex couples? The idea of immorality of certain acts — which appears to be a possible ground of the criminalisation of male homosexual acts in Section 377A — should translate to a legal effect on persons in same-sex relations who want to adopt a child, especially those who use illegitimate ways to mock our laws.

Public confidence in our authorities has been shaken. Power and wealth have eroded the morality of our land.

The immeasurable price of Motherhood

This letter was sent to The Straits Times Forum but was not published.

Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ART) have replaced fertility and procreation with reproduction in a sterile lab. Such technologies made us forget that a child is begotten, not to be artificially created at a price of S$275,000 (“LandmarkHigh Court allows Singaporean Gay dad to adopt surrogate son”; Dec 17).

A child is a gift. No one demands a gift. We buy expensive toys for our children but now, children have become toys for us.  

If biological connection does not matter, this father would not be able to circumvent the laws of our land to start a family unit. He would not have gone to great lengths to reproduce a child with half his genetic traits by making use of the egg of one woman and the body of another for nine months of his child’s life.

No man, not even a single woman like me, can understand how a mother’s body undergo dramatic changes to give a life. Parenthood is sacrificial giving, not the taking away of a child’s need and right to his mother. The surrogate mother can relinquish her parental rights but it does not mean that the child does not need or yearn for his mother.

It is of paramount importance that a clear stance on all forms of surrogacy be made (“Clear stanceon all forms of surrogacy needed”; Dec 20) and that a policy review be made on singles being allowed to adopt children (“Ban surrogacy to protect theinterests of children and women”; Jan 5). No matter how much I as a single adoptive mother love my child, I cannot be the father that he needs. It is not about me, but all about what my child needs in a dual sex union.

Public confidence in our authorities has been shaken in this landmark ruling. A just society protects and safeguards the interests of the most vulnerable members of our society ; children. Children are priceless. The rich and powerful do not own them.