Dearest B,
I remember telling you and my friends that I feel guilty that I cannot give all my time and spend all my energy equally among the 6 of you.
Sometimes I wish I can split myself into 6 parts, so that none of you would think that I love each of you less.
You were the special one when you were in your mother's womb.
Maybe it's because your mum is my eldest sister.
With mum no longer around, your mum is like a 'mum' to me, the once youngest in the family.
I was unusually protective of you when you were in the secret place.
You are just half a year apart from your eldest cousin.
I love him too but with you, I felt the miracle of life after your grandma's tragic and sudden death.
Life after death.
That sums up my born again experience.
That is why life is of utmost importance to me cos without a physical life, what other life can we talk about?
When you were a toddler, your mum knew that I love you.
I guess that was why she brought you to the hospital to bring me to my senses, though the hospital was not a place for you to be in.
I remember seeing you and your cutie face and suddenly one day, I was awakened.
I could not afford to be an aunt that was so irresponsible with my life.
What would you think of me when you grow up?
I remember you had fits during a high fever.
I was scared to death.
I was so afraid that I would face death again.
My heart pained when I saw you struggling when you were fed medicine.
My heart was comforted when you started to play again in the hospital.
Then you grew a little more.
You came for my baptism with your mum.
I was so happy.
You came when I gave a testimony and I sang in front of your mum at a home for the mentally ill.
I was ecstatic that the two of you, my beloved family members, came and support me.
Then you became a beautiful young lady, 16 years old!
Suddenly I realize a lot of things have changed.
I used to be the one giving you instructions and you used to always say yes happily.
But you have changed.
Now you have a mind of your own.
You are like that tender seedling growing into a tree.
In a way, you don't belong to us anymore.
In fact, you never did.
You are a person of great worth; one seeking security and significance.
Don't find that in people and things.
Ask and it will be given to you.
Seek and you will find.
Knock and the door will be opened to you.
Honour and love your parents.
Pursue your dreams and do not be afraid of failing.
We will catch you.
We will be with you.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made and your soul knows that very well.
Never ever look down on yourself, my beloved.
May your eyes see further than yourself, your heart fuller than what it can hold, your hands and feet reaching out to help those in need.
You are meant to soar!
