Disability and Abortion

I am not my disability.  

I just happen to have a condition known as Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI), or in layman’s terms, “brittle bones”. From birth till my late teens, my bones broke easily and I suffered countless fractures. I have a short stature and I use a wheelchair.  People do not cease to remind me that I am very different. However, God has assured me that I am uniquely made, just like any individual. The emphasis that people place on my disability does frustrate me. But what is God’s purpose for me as a person born according to His will?

Recently, I mourned the death of two unborn children. I learnt that two out of seventeen pregnant women who were Zika-positive last year, underwent abortions. To quote from the Ministry of Health (MOH) and the clinical advisory group (CAG) - "the consequences can be more serious if a pregnant woman is infected, as Zika virus infection can cause microcephaly in the unborn foetus of pregnant women." The website adds: microcephaly is a congenital condition in which the head size is much smaller than usual for a baby of the same age, race and sex. Microcephaly can be caused by a variety of genetic and environmental factors, such as Down Syndrome, exposure to drugs, alcohol or other toxins in the womb, rubella and a few other infections during pregnancy. There is no specific treatment for this condition.

Abortion was readily pushed out as an option. Is it hard to understand why these two mothers opted for abortions, given the fear and pressure?

In 1969, when moving the Abortion Bill in Parliament, the then-Health Minister Chua Sian Chin claimed that “it would be an act of kindness or even a moral obligation to avoid the tragedy and the serious repercussions to the parents, the child, and society alike by permitting abortion”. Conversely, he said that “it is an acknowledged social evil to countenance the breeding of defectives in society”.

One of the grounds that abortion was permitted under the Abortion Bill was the “eugenic ground”, where abortion was permitted if “there is substantial risk that if the child were born it would suffer from such physical or mental abnormalities as to be seriously handicapped”.

One of the reasons given by the Government to justify keeping the cut-off time of abortion at 24 weeks is to allow these mothers whose unborn children are found to have “structural abnormalities” to “consider the implications and make an informed decision as to whether to keep or abort the child”.

Even today, the contents of pre-abortion counselling “may be adapted for women diagnosed with foetal abnormalities”.

I experienced great sorrow upon reading all these statements.  There is such a deeply entrenched fear and misconceptions about people with disabilities. I find it extremely saddening that many unborn babies are deemed to have no right to live and no future simply because they are diagnosed with defects, especially at a time when medical advances can be used to maximise their potential rather than strike them off from human society.

This is also an obvious show of double standards in our society.

On one hand, we recently celebrated the achievements of our Paralympic gold medallists like Yip Pin Xiu and Theresa Goh. We hold the annual Purple Parade to promote the inclusion of people with special needs.

Yet on the other hand, society sends the message that disabled children are unworthy of life, as a special group of people singled out for the option of abortion.

When I was born, I was "untouchable" because my bones would break at every touch. I could very well have been labelled a "grossly handicapped child" facing long-term severe disability and dependence. My life could have been terminated if my parents had received such a prognosis. But because medical technology was not so advanced in the 1970s, I had a chance at life. Through parental support, medical treatment and personal determination to excel, I am now an educator with the ability to impact lives. All unborn children with disabilities need, as I had, is the universal right to live.

The government of the United Kingdom is currently considering an Abortion (Disability Equality) Bill, proposed by Lord Kevin Shinkwin, himself a person with a disability.

In one of his speeches, Lord Shinkwin said, “I utterly reject this medical mindset that clings to the idea that a disabled baby is a medical failure to be eradicated through abortion. I beg no one for my equality. I know I have as much right as anyone to be alive.”

I could not agree more. As a person made in the image of God, I know my value and worth comes from God.

And while the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy the lives of children in our society, I know that my Lord Jesus came to not only give life, but to give life to the full (John 10:10).

It is true that people with disabilities like myself face special challenges in life, and parents expecting a child with special needs are bound to have concerns and fears. However, it was these special challenges that brought me to Christ and instilled in me priceless values. The perfect love of God drives out all fear (1 John 4:18). For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). That is why I can now speak up for the needy. Even people with severe disabilities are born to gift us with precious life lessons.

The Church must model our Lord’s example of unconditional love, regardless of how “able” or “disabled” anyone might be. We must believe in the purpose that God has for every person on this earth and rise up to support every family who have children with special needs. In doing this, we show our love for God, as well as love our neighbours as ourselves. 

You before me

I remembered my ex-boss, now my friend, gave me this book barely two years after I came to Christ. One of my favourite books because of this woman's devotion to God, more so after the accident that left her paralyzed at 17 years old. Now still in chronic pain because of her disability, she showed the world what clinging on to God looks like, in good times, in bad times.

Watched "Me before you" on the plane back to Singapore. Was debating with myself whether to watch it or not though I would definitely not pay to watch it. Indeed a depressing movie that tried to put romance into it by putting an actress who only knows how to smile 'prettily' and a handsome actor who acts as a paralyzed man. He refused to move on by clinging on to his past. He chose assisted suicide though he seemed to have found love and hope in a woman who pleaded with him not to do so. He told her to live well yet he chose to die. He chose to let his parents grieve over his premature, premeditated death...

Truly a 'me before you' movie that reflects the culture we live in. Me first. My feelings first.

The most hypocritical part is the ending when the actress smiled after receiving the guy's money upon his death. Suicide becomes just like any normal death. It has been romanticized.

In the end, I can only say that this movie sugarcoats suicide. Grief over our losses is real. But so is the fact that we should never advocate assisted suicide to people in their vulnerable state. What people need is a real hope in a real God.

If death solves the problems of life, we would all be dead.

I believe in you, kid!

One thing I have learnt in interacting with teens, especially with my loved ones is that they value their family.

They may not show it explicitly. They may seem rebellious. Most of the time they think adults don't understand them, just as adults try so hard to make these teens understand their 'wiser' ways.

I'm imploring parents not to exasperate your kids. I feel very touched when one said that she values family and friends over grades. She struggles with doing her best in her studies while others see it as not good enough.

Let us tell our kids that we believe in them. Let us not wait till they run away from home, till they give up on their family, on their studies, on their dreams JUST BECAUSE of what we think is best for them.

Just as we don't like others to dictate our lives, let us give our kids the SPACE to work things out. Don't suffocate them. That will not help them to soar.

I'm not negating the authority and guidance of parents. I'm just saying that as the kids grow, we have to learn to let go. We cannot treat them like preschool kids anymore.

It is when you listen respectfully to their views that they will trust you with their vulnerability.

#101waystocommunication

Hypocrisy

Honestly I cannot believe a person follow Christ and love Him if he supports abortion or euthanasia.

You cannot embrace Satan who comes to kill, steal and destroy and at the same time embrace God who gives life abundantly.

No matter your reasons, stop deceiving yourself that you love God.

#whatifpeoplewantyourlife
#stopthehypocrisy

Men, women and abortion

I hear so many people repeating the idea that abortion is a “woman’s right” and that others should not interfere with a woman’s “right to choose”. Abortion is promoted in certain quarters as a “progressive” thing that enables women to fully participate in society without being burdened by an “unwanted pregnancy”.

But it may surprise you to learn that Singapore’s liberal abortion laws were not the result of a massive push by women to legalise abortion as part of their God-given rights. The history books record quite the opposite.

In 1969, when the Singapore government was considering the Abortion Bill, there was only one woman out of the 58 Members of Parliament: Madam Chan Choy Siong. Madam Chan was a strong advocate for women’s rights, fighting for equal salaries for men and women and an end to polygamy. She played a pivotal role in the campaigning and passing of the Women’s Charter in 1961.

Madam Chan Choy Siong, Singapore’s only female MP in 1969, opposed the Abortion Bill in a passionate speech, arguing that “legalisation of abortion is tantamount to murder”.

The fact that Parliament had “only one woman member” despite the fact that “women form nearly half the adult community” was noticed by the Young Christian Workers’ Movement, which questioned whether the government had sought the views of women regarding the Bill.

Madam Chan opposed the Abortion Bill in a passionate speech. She argued that “legalisation of abortion is tantamount to murder” and warned that “our women will suffer a great deal more” should the Bill be passed. She voted against the Bill even though a majority of the male-dominated Parliament voted in favour of it.

As a woman, I fully sympathise and agree with Madam Chan. A Bill was passed against women and children. As a result, during the years 2003 to 2012, 118,975 lives were lost through abortions(Abortion Statistics, April 8, 2013, Ministry of Health). The number of abortions peaked in 1985, at 23,512. Though this dipped to its lowest level at 8,515 in 2014, every child lost is one too many.

As Lou Engle said at the Kingdom Invasion conference on March 14: “Civilised nations do not kill our own children.”

Erika Bachiochi, Visiting Fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center, said: “Sex does not always make babies, but neither does it always make babies exactly according to our plans … sex is a serious enterprise, to be engaged in only by those prepared to become mothers and fathers.”

Biologically speaking, the consequences of sex are borne almost exclusively by women. A man who has sex with a woman does not generally face any consequences of his sexual activity, except in cases of sexually transmitted diseases.

However, a woman may get pregnant, which in the natural course of things means that she must carry the pregnancy for around nine months, go through the pain of childbearing, and have a child to raise thereafter. Even if a woman goes for an abortion, she is the one who undergoes the intrusive abortion procedure, along with its risks and potential side-effects.

Abortion empowers male irresponsibility by allowing men to walk away from the consequences of their sexual behaviour, even as women are made to bear these consequences in their own bodies. An abortion-permissive culture allows male sexuality to go undisciplined.

When it becomes bereft of the deep emotional bonds once demanded by self-respecting women, sex is sought for pleasure alone. For the most callous of men, women become mere pleasure-providers, the objects of the male libido’s aggressive demands.

Men and women are not meant to be independent of one another, as evident in the procreation of life.

Abortion has too often been regarded as a “women’s rights” issue, leaving the effect of abortion on men too often unaddressed or overlooked. In fact, while the women bear all the physical consequences, studies have shown that abortion seriously affects men psychologically and emotionally.

Some men may experience depression, guilt, anger, grief and shame after their partner has an abortion, feelings commonly experienced by the woman herself. In the aftermath of abortion, particularly where the feelings around the decision to abort are ambivalent, men often feel depressed, and when they have not been consulted about the decision, they often feel angry or powerless.

To truly advance women’s rights, both men and women must work together and take responsibility for one another and for the weakest and most vulnerable among us: The unborn. The need and rights of a child to a father and a mother cannot be understated.

Men must take up their roles as husbands and fathers, not leaving the women alone to the sacred responsibility of parenthood. A “pro-baby, pro-woman and pro-life” movement cannot be started by Esthers alone. We need the Josephs to rise up to protect the unborn of our nation. We need the Mordercais as our advisors to reverse the decree of abortion.

Men and women are not meant to be independent of one another, as evident in the procreation of life. In the case of women who are abandoned should they choose to keep the baby, we as a nation should support these mothers who chose life for their children. We should support them towards independence and restoration, with the emphasis on the welfare of children who cannot fend for themselves.

There are no simple solutions here. So neither should abortion be viewed as an easy solution, a quick fix – not when a life is at stake.

http://thir.st/blog/men-women-abortion/

True compassion is found in not repealing S377A

This letter was sent to Voices@TODAY but was not published.

It is neither the majority nor the minority who is always right. In any policymaking, it boils down to logical arguments that point to deriving the greatest good for our nation while incurring minimum cost or inconvenience to those affected ("377A: Remember the golden rule in policymaking"; March 21).    

I would be one of the many to vote for this law to stand, no matter how the society changes ("Govt has no plans to repeal section 377a for now"; March 2).

I have friends who have same-sex attraction and they are just as dear to me. In fact, my concern for them is greater because of the sobering facts that surround the health of people who engage in high-risk sexual behaviour. 

How can I support and encourage a friend to continue in his destructive behaviour when in 2016, 61 per cent of the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) infections were from homosexual and bisexual transmission? Out of a staggering number of 7,140 citizens who are HIV-infected as of end 2015, 1,816 lives were lost because of their chosen way of life. Sodomy laws have some deterrent effect because with more acceptance, any form of consensual sexual behaviour increases. As it is, the whole community has to foot the costs of these diseases.

It is not misconceptions, prejudices or fears that stop me from empathizing with people who struggle with brokenness ("Repeal of 377A won't automatically change people's minds"; March 21). The moment we see a loved one goes down the path of destruction,  true compassion is shown when we warn him.

I cannot deny that there are people who are mean, just like how people say nasty things to me, a person born with a disability. I cannot stop anyone from being offensive. Our dignity and value do not fluctuate with the laws or any societal change. What is critical is to recognize how every behaviour has consequences. 

We should empathize with those who struggle with identity issues. We all do. We celebrate the worth of every individual but we cannot celebrate every behaviour, especially one that causes harm to the individual and the community. There are no ex-Chinese but there are ex-gays. This is a fact which is worth looking forward to.

I'm tiny...

Standing here with the wind so strong, I nearly felt I could be blown away in that very short time when I was alone. Being in nature makes me feel so tiny and vulnerable, a great time to reflect, reflect and reflect.

The beauty of being in Christ is that great awareness of my flaws and how much more sanctification needs to work in my life. Can be discouraging at times but yet this consciousness is good. If I were to lose this awareness of how much I need God, it means I have drifted.

I thank God for this break, this opportunity to travel, to do whatever I can while on earth. I definitely miss Singapore because I'm grateful for what we have there! 😀

#Homeinheaven

Be the woman of God

Grateful to be featured. 😀So much to work on to be that woman of God. Just want to say that I truly appreciate the men I know in my life. Pray that more women will realise that there is no need to compare with men for anything. We are so different and yet need one another. 😉

https://www.facebook.com/thirstonline/photos/a.1796404050597748.1073741828.1611958019042353/1841903399381146/?type=3&theater

Memories of you

Blessed to receive a clean bill of health from the doctor. Thank God! 😀Healthy so all the more must continue to labour in His kingdom. 💪💪💪I celebrated the good news by eating at Jollibee. 😂It is much better than KFC lol but still unhealthy...sigh...

A friend passed away today. Went to the hospice few days ago and wrote a farewell note on tissue paper. She told me to send her the picture after I read it to her.
She lived a full life, now she is in paradise with Jesus.
We will be reunited again. No regret.

O Death, where is your sting?
O Hades, where is your victory?

In Jesus, we no longer fear death because He has overcome it!

Just live a life of no regret to the One who has called us here on earth.

#inmemoryofyou

THIR.ST TALKS: I know an amazing woman

We’ve all heard stories about amazing women – but how often do we hear these stories from the mouths of men?

Thir.st went behind the scenes with five such women who have incredible stories of overcoming, leading and redefining stereotypes. There we found five great guys – friends, husbands, brothers and sons – who’ve stood by them, quietly supporting them through the years. You’ll hear from three of them in the video below.

Instead of having the women talk about themselves, we let them stay backstage for once and got the men to do the talking. Among the dashing dudes, we had:

Speaking about women who usually speak for themselves was a strange new experience for these men.

“I hope I get the facts right, or she will probably call me to ask if we are even friends,” Darius joked, slightly nervous. He met Serene at a talk he was giving back in 2014. They have since been working together on a number of social justice issues, such as defending the sanctity of human life. They make a great team: She writes letters to forum pages; as a lawyer, he vets.

http://thir.st/blog/thir-st-talks-know-amazing-woman/

The Christian life

The Christian life is a constant struggle with sin - and the most alarming part is not when we sin, but when we stop struggling with it altogether, and even try to tell ourselves that it's okay.

-Cheryl Lee

The Lord is with you

The LORD was with Joseph...(greatest Comfort in the greatest discomfort)

And his master saw that the LORD was with him...(people should be able to see the difference in us)

But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and He gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison...(even in the prison, Joseph can and must lead)

the LORD was with him; and whatever he did, the LORD made it prosper. (Without God, we can do nothing)

Blessed is Joseph though he was to be harmed, framed and forgotten. Hard process of moulding. Can imagine him crying out to God!

Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: “For God has made me forget all my toil and all my father’s house.”

And the name of the second he called Ephraim: “For God has caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction.” (Genesis 39-41)

A beautiful story of trusting in the Lord in dark moments. Even and especially in affliction can we bear fruit because we are pushed out of our comfort zone.

#aftermanassehisephrahim

The real thing

“If God had told me some time ago that He was about to make me as happy as I could be in this world, and then had told me that He should begin by crippling me in arm and limb, and removing me from all my usual sources of enjoyment, I should have thought it a very strange mode of accomplishing His purpose. And yet, how is His wisdom manifest even in this! For if you should see a man shut up in a closed room, idolizing a set of lamps and rejoicing in their light, and you wished to make him truly happy, you would begin by blowing out all his lamps; and then throw open the shutters to let in the light of heaven.” – Samuel Rutherford

Called to LOVE

To those of us who inherit salvation, we must give the more earnest heed to the things we have heard, lest we drift away (Hebrews 2:1). The test of faith lies not in the first few years of being in Christ but in the last few years of my first decade in Him. I have to jealously guard my quiet time with Him by hiding my handphone in my wardrobe. However, it takes greater discipline on the mind and heart to tune in to His word and to rest in Him. To say “no” to even legitimate requests is something that I am learning. I am beginning to realise that while all things can be done to glorify God, He does not want me to do all. That is why we need the body of Christ, each using his spiritual gift and sphere of influence to impact this nation that our Lord has put us in.

I used to be a very timid person. I was awfully afraid of authority figures and even now, I dare not talk to Pastors because I think they know too much and I know too little. Yet I have the audacity to share my reflections on social media because I sincerely hope to encourage fellow brethren that each of us has something valuable to offer to the body of Christ. I may lack a theological background but the Holy Spirit guides me into all truth (John 16:13). A soul that refreshes others will himself be refreshed (Proverbs 11:25). Through my sharing, even unbelievers will know that God is real because they can see the transformation in me. 

In recent years, God gave me so much boldness that it scares me. The past eight years in Christ was a period of connecting with God and basking in His love. Sadly, I was also totally oblivious to what was happening in our nation. It was only in the last quarter of year 2014 that the scales of my eyes were taken away. I did not realise that I live in a world so contrary to God’s values. We have the most liberal abortion laws, sexual immorality even among teenagers, high divorce rates, high suicide rates among youths, with more seeking professional help for mental health issues. I serve a God who is deeply concerned with our lives because He created man in His image (Genesis 1:26). What about us? Do I go for church service every Sunday and forget about God for the rest of the week? Do I go for the best bible study but I never learn to apply His commandments and His values in my life and in my relationship with others? What do I do with what I know, if not to be the salt and light of this nation that God has put me in? God is not real to me until I realise how applicable His Word is to my life.

And so from year 2015 onwards, I started to write in to the Forum pages of our newspapers. It takes a lot of time and mental discipline to produce a decent letter that will either be published or rejected. I could take as long as four hours at the computer simply because my mind is not used to writing such letters that require basic knowledge of the subject, concise language and a certain appeal that would make an editor publish it. It has been two years since then. It is easier now though still not easy. I do what I do because Singapore is a democratic society. Without your voice or mine, who will build a culture that speaks life and emphasizes the worth and dignity of every individual, even the unborn? Everyone can write in. What is needed is a willing heart.

Life in Christ is really tough. If someone had told me so when I first received Christ, I would have probably backed off. Yet I would tell a prospective believer the truth. If you cannot endure hardship, please do not receive Christ. It is a point of no return. Nonetheless, it is the best thing I have ever done for myself because life without God is chaos and has no meaning or purpose. I used to wake up in the morning, wondering why I am still alive. I attempted suicide and so nearly died. Because I did not die, I must live even better for Christ. I struggled with depression, with my emotions being my deadliest enemy. Yet in Christ, I learn self-control. Even now, especially now, my spirit and soul are always wrestling with each other but the Holy Spirit always wins. The soul will feel very sore before it surrenders to the Spirit. It is a sweet victory, after the anguish of the soul.  

As I walk on this path, I see people going through similar struggles. My first instinct is to tell them how great God is. Yet I realize that everyone has to overcome their hurdles with God. They need a personal encounter with Him, even if it means hitting the wall and realizing that their ways do not work. It hurts me to see the unnecessary path that people choose to walk on but my role is just to be there, to be a comfort to them just like how I was comforted by the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). While it is our role to point people to Christ, we too need to understand that it is a process that is at God’s timing and He gives the increase. When we minister to the broken, let us not forget where we came from. He brought us up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay and set our feet upon a rock and established our steps (Psalm 40:2). Let compassion pulsates in our heart as we tell the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Love and truth are not mutually exclusive.