Free to choose but not free from consequences

This letter was sent to The Straits Times Forum but was not published.

In my role as a mentor to teenagers, I seek to establish open communication with them. I learn to first offer a listening ear to their views before analyzing with them the pros and cons of every decision. They are free to make choices but they are not free from the consequences of their choices ("Promoting abstinence stifles potentially helpful discussions on sex"; 29 June). 

I stand with parents, teachers and counsellors in fostering this culture of mutual love and trust so that our young would feel safe to ask any question about sex or related issues. Open-mindedness and respect work both ways.

Parents as the primary communicators of sexuality with their children, should teach a holistic view of sexuality. They should teach their children to respect themselves and their bodies as intrinsically valuable. Sex should be valued and not treated casually. Teenagers need to see that modeled in their parents and those of adults whom they respect.  

There is no condemnation to those who face problems such as sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Grace and love abounds especially to those who are in need of help. Their value as precious individuals is independent of their sexual history. 

The community should step up in helping those who have been sexually abused and those who had been sexually active but are now seeking alternatives. They too, seek a restoration of their view on sexuality. 

The best gift parents can give to their children is the imparting of right moral values. These values can go against the cultural norms and may invite ridicule and isolation from peers. Our young need our every support to give them courage to stand firm on what they believe in.