About 1.2 per cent of the local adult population suffer from bipolar disorder in their lifetime, according to a 2010 Singapore Mental Health Study (SMHS). From 2012 to 2014, the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) saw an annual average of 1,200 patients with the condition.
Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.
There are four basic types of bipolar disorder; all of them involve clear changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. These moods range from periods of extremely “up,” elated, and energized behavior (known as manic episodes) to very sad, “down,” or hopeless periods (known as depressive episodes).
Coming out now as one who was diagnosed with this condition eighteen years ago, is not easy. Two weeks ago, I lamented with a few friends that I would rather not have this past. A friend reminded me that God can redeem everything. Indeed, as Ray C.Stedman said, "On the cross, Jesus paid the debt we could not pay, and He redeemed us from slavery to sin, death, and Satan." If God can use my past to help another person to write a better present and future, every tear that I had shed, every relationship that I had lost, is worth it.
I would like to reiterate the following points:
1. Though I still take the minimal dosage of one tablet every night, I believe that I have been healed by God. I have no relapses since I received Christ in the year 2006. God can use medication/doctors to help us and in His time, God will also reveal His ultimate plan on this. While medication can stabilize a medical condition, only God can give us the meaning of life. I remembered declaring thrice in front of would-be pharmacists, that it is my faith that helped me in my recovery. There is no denying of this fact.
2. I had the most patient psychiatrist who believed in me. Because he would not be angry with my tantrums and self-righteousness during the onset of my condition, I had no choice but to cooperate with him. His therapy was his humor and his wisdom in differentiating what my personality traits are and what is abnormal. I remembered telling him enthusiastically, "Doctor, doctor, I have received Christ!" and to my surprise, he said calmly, "I'm also a Christian." Imagine my shock at how God had put him strategically in my life, unknowingly to me.
3. The diagnosis of mental weakness is merely for treatment. It was never and it is not my identity, just like having a disability is not who I am as a person. Now I know, that I am a precious child of God, wanted and useful to Him. Now I have a moral compass, a living Manual, a final destination, a Cheerleader in me, cheering me all the way on this journey called Life. I am not alone. I will not be lonely anymore, come what may.
4. Brilliant and famous people were thought to have Bipolar disorder. World renowned Dutch post-impressionist painter Vincent Van Gogh ultimately committed suicide with a self-inflicted gunshot wound at age 37. Until recently, I did not know that people chase after the highs in the manic episode, by indulging in drugs and alcohol and not taking the required medication. God created us to have talents and spiritual gifts. I do not need the fake highs because I have the genuine love and joy of God to be constantly victorious in Him. I do not need to be sick in order to excel.
5. Mental weakness is a manifestation of our deepest longings and fears. In the deepest recesses of our hearts lie these issues:
-The yearnings to love and be loved, to know and be known
-Who am I? What am I here for? What can I do? (our identity)
-Dysfunctional ways in relating to self and others
-Eustress and distress, ways of overcoming the challenges in life
-Lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and pride of life
-etc
Like suicide, mental weakness is caused by a variety of factors. Don't shortchange ourselves and others by magnifying our agenda. While the society can and should do its part in accepting people who are facing difficulties in life, each one of us is responsible for our mental health. There is restoration, if only we seek it earnestly.
6. Know that this too is a spiritual warfare. The mind is the battlefield. Who wins? God or Satan? Jesus has won two thousand years ago and victory is already His. The word of God is my antidote. Any moment that I do not have Christ in my mind, it would be I, me and myself. As long as I cling to Him, I have assurance that I have His victory. Self-care is extremely important, for EVERYONE, not just for some people, perceived to be weak. I thank God that I can sleep very well now. I am now serene in Him.
Or we can choose to see these experiences for what they are: our golden seams.
The times when we get scratched, chipped, cracked and broken can feel totally shitty, but there can also be a strange beauty in the way we process them and the lessons we take from them afterwards… if we want.
Our experiences don’t define us, but they do influence us. We can decide to hide, or we can decide to embrace these experiences that have shaped us in some small way, the experiences to which we’ve applied our own special coating of gold-laced resin. We can decide to cover up, or we can decide to walk out into the world as ourselves, mended breaks and all."
http://www.becomingwhoyouare.net/japanese-pottery-can-teach-us-feeling-flawed/
I hope my story encourages you. It is normal to be weak, for we are made strong in Christ. Please feel free to email me at loveastranger2016@gmail.com if I can be of any help.
Shalom and Jesus bless you! :D
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