The loss of a child should be spoken of and remembered

This letter was sent to Voices@TODAY but was not published.

In using her platform as Mrs Singapore Universe 2019, the writer not only gives a voice to women who have suffered silently the loss of a child through miscarriage, she also lends a voice to the truly voiceless- the unborn (“As Mrs SingaporeUniverse, I want to talk about how I cope with my miscarriage”; 6 Sep).

While in her womb, the writer’s 17-week-old son was fully-formed with paper-thin skin, 10 fingers, 10 toes, and long skinny limbs. Whether the child was medically viable to survive outside the womb or would have any form of disability, the humanity of her son cannot be denied.

I agree with the writer that there is no better place for a baby than in the arms of his mother.

I share her grief, that the death of a loved one is like the amputation of a limb. My world crashed when I lost my beloved mother to cancer in my teenage years. I have great respect for the love of fathers and mothers towards their children.

We can bury a dead body but we cannot bury the fond memories.

Every child is unique and no other child born thereafter can replace him. The child who died will always be a treasured member of the family.

A miscarriage is the natural death of an embryo or foetus before it is able to survive independently, usually in the first 12 weeks. It is estimated that one in four to six pregnancies end in a miscarriage.

What about mothers who suffer trauma from aborting their children?

Research has shown that a woman who undergoes an abortion is six times more likely to commit suicide, 30% more likely to suffer from depression and 25% more likely to suffer from anxiety compared to a woman who gives birth.

Who will render help to women who are silenced by abortion regrets, guilt and shame?

Whether it is a miscarriage or an abortion, a precious life is lost.

Every child has intrinsic value and dignity. No outer circumstances can make a child lose his right to life.

The birth of a child should be widely-celebrated and the loss of a child should be spoken of and remembered.