Tribute to my late mum

This letter was sent to The Straits Times Forum but was not published.

The sheer determination of Madam Yong to shower her daughter with so much love so that Vivian can live longer in this world, reminded me of my late mum (“She ain’t heavy, she’s my baby: Mum’s devotion to 38-year-old daughter with neuromuscular disease; 7 May).

I was born with a genetic disorder called Osteogenesis Imperfecta, in layman’s term, brittle bone disease. The doctors told my parents that I might not live long after birth but no doctor could have predicted that I am now leading a more fruitful life than any prognosis given at birth.  I give the most credit to my beloved mother who gave me the most beautiful nineteen years of my life before she died of kidney cancer.

My mother was not highly educated but her dream was for me to enter university, find a job and support myself. She could not coach me for my Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) but she would sit beside me and encourage me to study hard. I could not envision a bright future for myself then as I used a wheelchair. Those were turbulent teenage years whereby I blamed my mother for my disability through no fault  of hers. But we shared the greatest intimacy as mother and child, as the best of friends.

I felt abandoned by her when she suddenly passed on during my GCE A-Level examinations. My Christian faith empowered me to not only choose life after her death, but to love and treasure this life that my parents had given me.

My mother did not pass on defective genes to me (“Bioethics committee seeks views on emerging genetic modification technology to prevent disorders”; 19 April). She modelled perseverance and sacrificial love to me that I would not trade anything for. Because she did not abort me, I had a chance at life. She loved me to the end and that inspired me to do likewise to the people around me.

I do not need genetic modification. I just needed a chance at life. 

I will magnify You with thanksgiving!

Dearest Abba,

life is too exciting not to share it with others, just like how You said that we should magnify You with thanksgivings! (Psalm 69:30)

Thank You Lord for this breath of life today, for this safe haven that You have provided since 2006, nearly 12 years, a few months before I said "Yes" to You as my King!

Those who have yet to know You, I think I must seem like a weirdo, truly a fool for Christ.

But I'm sure my family members, especially my beloved sisters, are always comforted that I am no longer that rebellious little sister, whose mind was once full of death and depression.

They see the great change in me and my greatest hope is that one day, they would want to know You too.

I have come to treasure them, even my dysfunctional family, because they are Your gifts to me too.

For the 8 years in Christ, I thank You for that foundation in You.

Though I felt like I was asleep in my bubble for too long, You know it better than me that I needed that period, just like now I try to be more understanding of people who are in different seasons of growth.

I woke up in the last quarter of 2014, after attending a talk on homosexuality.

I got to know two interesting friends, followed by more of such friends in 2015 onwards.

In 2015, I attended a conference whereby Your people shared about masturbation, pornography, same-sex attraction etc.

I was like "Wow!"

I have never heard of all these taboo topics in a church setting before!

Wow, these people are so bold leh!

And so my exciting journey started in 2015, with me participating in Your plans without knowing how it came about.

I am definitely not a fan of The Straits Times but I didn't know why I read the Forum page in December 2014 and saw this letter written by a doctor who said that being infertile is better than having a child who is grossly handicapped.

I didn't know what came over me but I wrote a letter that was published on 1 January 2015. Four other letters that were pro-life were published as our new year gifts too!

http://praisearising.blogspot.sg/2015/01/born-untouchable-she-now-touches-lives.html

The once untouchable me wanted to tell this doctor that I exist.

Since then, I don't seem to see him writing on this topic anymore.

I pray that he would come to know You.

Who knows, one day I might get to know him?;)

I graduated with a Social Work degree but I didn't practise it for more than a decade.

I never felt it was wasted because that interest in social issues was reignited, fiercer than in my schooling years because then, I didn't have a calling, a Love that holds me together, compassion for people whom You love.

I still remained rather happily invisible, behind the scenes.

Of course I was upset with "keyboard cowards" who made vulgar jokes about my name when my letters were published.

They were just unhappy that You used me, together with Your many people, to tear down the lies that are perpetuated in our culture.

I remember where I came from.

Darkness.

I don't blame them.

Without You, anything goes.

Pleasure above morals, I above anyone else.

No one knows the many hours I sat in front of the computer, trying to write a letter that may not be published, that people may read and forget the next minute, that I have no idea how people would be impacted but hey, wasn't my life changed by that one letter by the doctor?

I learn to respect the small beginnings that You gave me.

I learn not to be so critical of myself and of others.

I learn through the trials.

I am under no illusion that life in Christ is a bed of roses but among the thorns, I can smell the roses.

Year by year, You exposed me to a greater audience, in videos, in small settings and lately to use a mic to facilitate a prayer meeting on building a culture of life!

Oh no......!

You know I hate to see myself in a video but You gave me more after the first one!

I learn to accept myself better and know that if I made sense in the videos, it was You who gave the words!

My thoughts tend to be all over the place so You must have gathered them together... :)

My greatest ambition in the past was to be invisible, to blend in with the environment because my chair gave me too much unwanted attention.

I just wanted to lead a serene life, that's why I called myself "Serene", after a few cmi names.

But can a disciple of Christ lead a hidden life, just "God and me, me and God" and that's it?

Aren't we supposed to be the salt of the earth and light of the world?

How do we love people without applying Your word?

Talk is cheap.

Even deeds that are not appreciated or clumsily executed are pleasing to You because You want faith with deeds.

I can speak well.

I can write well.

Because I know my weaknesses, therefore I know that if I can do what I know I can't, it can only be You.

And so with trembling hands and a heart that seeks to please an audience of One, I think I did fairly well for the prayer meeting :D

I did not panic, I was not as scared as I thought I would be.

And oh, I have two articles to hand in. And one more.

I took up the challenges without knowing how but I know who can help me.

Always "challenges", not "struggles".

I challenge myself because now I have You.

Without You, everything is a struggle.

Love You,
Serene

Swift repentance pleases You, O Lord!

‘For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, before the sun.’ ”

So David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” And Nathan said to David, “The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die.

“However, because by this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also who is born to you shall surely die.”...

Then David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in to her and lay with her. So she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. Now the LORD loved him,

and He sent word by the hand of Nathan the prophet: So he called his name Jedidiah, because of the LORD.

(2 Samuel 12)

Suddenly I realize the beauty of this chapter of King David's life: his swift repentance to God (no rationalization of sins) and God's love and restoration towards him.

No wonder David is called a man after God's own heart, who will do all His will. (Acts 13)

It's not about how ugly our past is. It's about how much we learn from that past and by His mercy and grace, gain victory in Christ from now on.

Love God, love life. Love our God of life!

Make a joyful shout to the LORD, all you lands!

Serve the LORD with gladness;
Come before His presence with singing.
Know that the LORD, He is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.

For the LORD is good;
His mercy is everlasting,
And His truth endures to all generations.

(Psalm 100) 

Love Life Conference.

When I first heard the name of the conference, it didn't really sink in.

Love life. Haven't we, even as Christians, been greatly influenced by the world that life is full of sorrows and sufferings?

As a Christian of 11 years, I keep hearing people talk about focusing on the eternal home that we are going to have when we die. The impression is just to focus on salvation, bring people to church and we would have done our part.

In recent years, I realize some Christians can be most unhappy, serving our Lord not with gladness but with great reluctance and even bitterness. Serving becomes a monotonous duty, serving the institutional church rather than serving God and His people.

I even heard from a leader that "success" is when youths come back to serve the church. And I asked, "What about people who serve outside the church?" I could tell that she was at a loss for words. Something is wrong when we make such a distinction.

When we meet one another for the first time, we would ask, "Which church are you from?"
There's nothing wrong with going to church to worship God and to grow. I learnt so much from where I came from in the past 10 years from respected pastors and cell leaders. Without God using them, I would not have learnt more about God.

But I realize I grow to love and know God faster and more during this testing period. The initial period of my wilderness was very tough. God was like opening a can of worms and I had to face my wrong perceptions which I did not know existed.

Is the Body of Christ confined to a church building or are we all, as long as we profess Jesus Christ as our King, all one big family? It's not about your church or my church. It's about the Church of Jesus Christ. It's not about your ministry or my territory. It's the holy ground of God.

Maybe we can ask one another, "How did you come to know our Lord? How's your walk with God lately? How's life?"

I realized that many Christians live in great fear of man and of the unknown. Many live in shame, which can be deadly. Why do we have more fear of man rather than the reverence of God? Is it because we, like the world, only see the visible man but not our invisible God?

Are we so caught up in storing treasures on earth rather than treasures in heaven? Are we discipled by the world or are we discipling the world?

Recently, I have been telling people I lived in hell before I knew God. Now I feel like I'm living heaven on earth. Not that life is smooth-sailing but because I was in darkness then but now I'm a child of light.

I'm no longer a slave to fear and sin but I'm a child of God. I still have my irrational fears that God won't let me get away with. But now I have a Compass in life, I have the best Guidebook on life and most comforting of all, I have a Father in God, a Husband in Jesus and a Helper in the Holy Spirit.
I have everything! :D

I love God because He is so real to me through my personal encounters, through the people He sent on my path, through His word of life, through coming out of my comfort zone and embracing the faith He has in me and clinging on to the love and faith in Him.

Someone asked, "What if the person in depression does not believe in God?"

I was stunned because my honest answer to that is recovery may be temporary. Family and friends are very important but no loved one can stop me from killing myself. No one can understand whatever that I'm going through because none of them is me. Because God is my Creator, He loves me and knows me, I'm accountable to Him in this life, I cannot kill myself anymore. I cannot destroy this temple of God. I value my life now.

That's why it troubles me greatly whenever I hear of people destroying their own lives and those of others. I know the push factors because I was one of them, who by the mercy and grace of God, now am alive and writing this note of life.

Love life. Not that life has no challenges such that we can idolize our stay on earth.

Love life because God is life. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. (John 14:6)

If we love God, we would love our own lives and those of others. We would be compelled to love and care for people who are suicidal, having unsupported pregnancies, suffering the trauma of abortion etc.

We would grieve and feel the weight of sin from lives lost through murder, suicide, abortion and anything that replaces God in the throne of our hearts.

We would love and support people struggling with pornography, masturbation, premarital/casual sex, adultery, same-sex attraction, pedophilia etc. Not that we agree with the sins but that we acknowledge that behind these sins are broken souls yearning to be healed by God.

We would look at the lost and remember that we were once lost but are found. We would run after the one lost sheep and celebrate when our prodigal brother comes home.

I was once that prodigal daughter. My family in Christ welcomed me home and I never since looked back.

The overflowing love and grace that we have received from others, let's not hoard it. Let's not focus on the thorns in our lives and be choked by them.

I did not come to heaven on earth to experience hell again.

On this heavenly path on earth, I meet earthly obstacles. But I have a heavenly Father who removes all these obstacles and propel me forward on this narrow path.

We are destined to be overcomers.

In all things, give thanks.

A thankful heart every day would help us to see God's hand in our perceived sufferings. They are actually the chastening of our just and loving Father.

If we love God, we would love and treasure this temporal stay on earth. After all, eternal life is knowing God and we can't waste any more time indulging in magnifying ourselves.

What is Church?

Church is you and me, loving God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and loving our neighbours as ourselves.

Turn around and face your neighbours (anyone) who cross your path today.

No politics, no political correctness, not about how different you are from me but only one fact.

We are all made in the image of God. And that should remind us to be at least courteous to one another.

Have a day full of life, speak words of life and live a life worthy of our calling! :D

Love God, love life. Love our God of life.

Teens deserve more than just being told to use contraception

It is disconcerting that instead of addressing the root issues that result in adolescent pregnancies, doctors are proposing long-acting reversible contraception that includes the intra-uterine contraceptive device (IUCD) (“Young, and a mum twice over; Study sheds light on successive pregnancies among girls”; April 15).

The IUCD works by changing the uterine lining and preventing the fertilised egg from being implanted on the wall of the womb. Human life begins at conception through fertilisation, a fact of basic biological science. IUCD has the potential to cause a very early abortion.

The insertion of the device also carries potential complications which include ectopic pregnancy, pregnancy with the device in place, uterine perforation, pelvic infection and expulsion of the device.

The ability to bond through sex in marriage is critical to sexual health, family development and marital stability.

When people have sex for pleasure alone, divorced from the security, commitment, communal support and procreational capacity found in the union of marriage, they are more likely to be emotionally and mentally devastated or be depressed when their sexual relationships do not work out.

In another threat to health, recent figures have shown that more young people are diagnosed with sexually transmitted diseases.

To an obese patient, a doctor would suggest diet and lifestyle modification as an option. For depression, a psychiatrist would suggest a mindset change. Why is it that when it comes to sexual behaviour, professionals are quick to propose more use of contraception instead of empowering parents to educate their children about sex and its consequences?

Parents are the best sex educators for their children. For adolescents with poor family support, they would benefit from wise mentors who can show love and trust by guiding with them.

In suggesting the contraception approach, we are already judging that our teens are incapable of lifestyle change, that they do not need to exercise self-control in every area of their lives and that they should pursue pleasure without consequences.

How do we empower our girls to say “no” to the pressure to have sex in the hope of getting more “love” from her boyfriend? How do we guide a boy to reject the myth that manhood is associated with sexual conquest?

Let us treasure our young by telling them the truth in love. They deserve it.

https://www.todayonline.com/voices