Tribute to my late mum

This letter was sent to The Straits Times Forum but was not published.

The sheer determination of Madam Yong to shower her daughter with so much love so that Vivian can live longer in this world, reminded me of my late mum (“She ain’t heavy, she’s my baby: Mum’s devotion to 38-year-old daughter with neuromuscular disease; 7 May).

I was born with a genetic disorder called Osteogenesis Imperfecta, in layman’s term, brittle bone disease. The doctors told my parents that I might not live long after birth but no doctor could have predicted that I am now leading a more fruitful life than any prognosis given at birth.  I give the most credit to my beloved mother who gave me the most beautiful nineteen years of my life before she died of kidney cancer.

My mother was not highly educated but her dream was for me to enter university, find a job and support myself. She could not coach me for my Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) but she would sit beside me and encourage me to study hard. I could not envision a bright future for myself then as I used a wheelchair. Those were turbulent teenage years whereby I blamed my mother for my disability through no fault  of hers. But we shared the greatest intimacy as mother and child, as the best of friends.

I felt abandoned by her when she suddenly passed on during my GCE A-Level examinations. My Christian faith empowered me to not only choose life after her death, but to love and treasure this life that my parents had given me.

My mother did not pass on defective genes to me (“Bioethics committee seeks views on emerging genetic modification technology to prevent disorders”; 19 April). She modelled perseverance and sacrificial love to me that I would not trade anything for. Because she did not abort me, I had a chance at life. She loved me to the end and that inspired me to do likewise to the people around me.

I do not need genetic modification. I just needed a chance at life.