How wretched we are!

The phone has been too noisy and will get noisier as I seek to glorify You even more.
Too many whatsapp groups, too many people to text or reply to, but mostly because I overestimate myself.
I have not been vigilant in guarding my heart.
I didn't make a distinction between making myself available for You or for just Your work or just for Your people.
I have forgotten to prioritize.
Even till now, I know I'm still not fully resting in You.
As of today, my phone has been in silent mode when I'm outside, in my wardrobe when I'm at home.
Suddenly I have peace. At least no more worry or tension about who is texting...
I have been controlled by a mere phone.
I'm regaining control over my life, this life that should be dedicated to You.
I thank You Lord, that despite all that has happened since 2014, I have never disbelieved You. My devotion time has been shortened as I learn so many other things but You have and will never be replaced by anyone.
I know how needy I am in You.
Yesterday, You showed me my wretched state.
You showed me how much I have overcome yet that success can be wiped away by my emotions.
You are great in mercy and You love me, despite all my iniquities, my failures.
How can I ever not be contented in Your love?
You know my desires. You know my needs. You know what is best for me at Your timing.
I couldn't sing during worship. I just looked at the words, sucking them all into my heart.
You know me. I needed Your words to envelop me, to comfort me such that I can be healed by You and soar again.
I'm on the road to recovery, just that the heart is as brittle as my bones when I was born.
Only for now.
I don't know how to communicate with people whom I don't know well and likewise with people who don't know me well. Seems like what I say can easily be misunderstood or unappreciated, also because I'm hypersensitive now.
I don't have the energy nor the heart to clarify anything.
Therefore, I didn't and don't want to talk in a group for now.
It is hard to pour out and not be appreciated. Perhaps it's not like this. I know I'm too sensitive. I can't clarify also because I don't know them well. I don't have a safe area to begin with. The safest Person to be with is You.
Day 1 of shutting self up.
A release. Guessing if anyone will miss my presence, that's the vain me.
Left the prayer meeting while they were praying.
Don't agree with some viewpoints.
Realize that some people speak as if they speak for You.
Presumptions, assumptions sound the alert in me.
Must pray very loud then it will come true?
I know it also has to do with my condition that I have all these thoughts.
I'm just sad that we expect empathy from others when we ourselves are not doing the same.
I'm speaking about myself too.
How wretched we are.
Thank You Lord for being with me.
Thank You Lord that I can write out my feelings easily.
Thank You Lord that I don't bother about what others think about what I have shared in my blog.
I have nothing to hide.
The less I hide, the freer I am in You.