I don't usually watch Chinese movies but I would recommend this movie to adults, not children. Can be rather violent.
I recommend it because
-personally I like kungfu/action movies, serious ones, not those with lousy storyline...and well Ip Man is portrayed as a gentle man with 'gentle' strokes, unlike his opponent who practises the same strokes but is vicious and violent in his battles...
I parallel it with both showing the truth in life, one with love, another with aggression.
-When the gangsters disrupt law and order at that time, Ip Man in his conversation with the policeman talked about morality and how children are watching how adults handled the situation. That was an Aha moment, so apt to what's happening in our society now. Justice needs to be upheld, everyone has a responsibility.
-The love in a marriage that stands against the trials of life. Ip Man's wife was dying of cancer. Before Ip Man knew about it, he was very busy being a hero. After he knew that his wife was dying, he spent all his time and effort on his wife, learning dancing because his wife loved it. His reputation and career were threatened but wife was number one. Wife was very supportive, died after watching him do what a man's got to do. The mutual love and sacrifices portrayed in a marriage is what makes this kungfu movie touching!
If I'm not wrong, the past two series portrayed a bit of their marriage too but this time round, it left a deep impression on me.
I know it's a movie. But movies can and do portray reality to a certain extent.
The simplest things in life can teach us the most profound lessons.
Sunday, 3 January 2016
Friday, 1 January 2016
I am very beautiful
Slept at 11+pm on the last day of 2015, woke up at 4+am on 1 Jan 2016.
Blessed 2016 everyone, to me too!
Was like asking God, "Can You let me sleep more?"
Sometimes it works.
But like the morning after caroling at Geylang, certain things just need to be written out before I lose that moment to be able to say it the best.
Just came back from Arise Issachar! Crossover Worldview Camp in JB on New Year's eve.
God can surface a lot of stuff within that 4 days 3 nights.
God can do anything at any time and anywhere but many times, we are not there.
It's a lot of busyness with others this whole December holiday.
I was like, hey, I better catch up with so-and-so before they start school...
I do enjoy every process of interacting with people, though when it comes to expressing myself, I think I come across clearer when I write rather than speak.
I do feel frustrated when I can't express that deepest feelings in face-to-face interactions.
Twice you said that sentence, "You are very beautiful."
First time in whatsapp, second time face-to-face and finally I could understand a little more of what you meant.
Because of what you said, because you are the first one to ever say that to me, your words left a great impact on me.
Yes, I do receive lots of good comments like I'm courageous, inspiring...but I don't think anyone ever told me that I'm beautiful, not to say 'very beautiful'.
I doubted the first time, or rather I cannot understand how I'm beautiful in the physical sense.
You meant it in the physical sense too.
I remembered when I was in my teens, a male nurse actually commented to his colleague in front of me that if I do not have this condition, there would be many people chasing after me.
Words spoken can haunt us for life if we do not realise the potency of it.
Again in teenage years, when friends bypass me while asking everyone what kind of boyfriends they want, I thought I'm not qualified to desire a boyfriend.
As years passed, no one dared to ask me about my relationship status, save for strangers whom I do not want to share with.
Why would I want to share my private stuff with people who just want to satisfy their curiosity but have no intention of staying in my life?
You are the second person to ask me about my love life.
As little as I had, yet the past 5 years was like a counterfeit of what a relationship is like.
We spoke from 1+ to 4+ am in the dark, at that cold dining area, on 30 December 2015.
That was Part 1.
I thought I have finished crying.
I gave myself one month to cry after a 5 years 'relationship'.
I thought, wow, that's impressive. Thank God! I recovered at such an amazing speed.
I won! I could get over him in one month. Well, at least, I did not waste my time moping over a man who doesn't deserve my tears.
I didn't want to get into depression, I didn't want to be weak. I have better things to do. God's Kingdom is at stake. What is my emotions compared to the larger issues in life?
See? I'm an expert in masking myself.
On the surface, I'm this super brave woman inspiring others.
I thought I have stopped being a superwoman after I came to Christ.
Apparently, I still have that side of me.
Since my mum died when I was 19 years old, I was forced to grow up overnight.
If I don't fend for myself, no one will be there for me.
Sounds familiar?
And so I told you how I really felt after that confrontation which he imposed on me.
I was unprepared yet I knew I had to hear him out.
"I have never pursued you."
You are honest, that I know. You are insensitive, that I also know. All I could say was, "You are embarrassing me."
Then you asked, "Even if I have a girlfriend, can't you be my 知己?" Oh, that day then I knew I was a 知己.
Your question woke me up. I thank God that no matter how I felt, I cut that soul tie at that very moment.
You had experiences before. I didn't.
You initiated most of the time, I didn't.
My part in this was, I was the willing party.
I enjoyed the attention given by you. Why wouldn't anyone, man or woman?
My fault was, I did not set the boundary. Neither did you, though I wonder if you ever realize that.
So yes, we were both at fault.
And so friend, I told you about him.
I felt like I could be someone that he shared his emotions with but he never considered me or never dared to.
That was in 2014 but it was only in 2015 that God revealed why he would not be the one.
I'm grateful that it is not him. It wouldn't work out anyway.
So that early morning talk with you helped me to have a better idea of why I felt the things I feel now.
16 years old niece said, "Ah yi, you are so nice but I don't understand why no guys like you. Then what about me?"
I was flattered, amused but ya, I know.
Seems like only women can see the goodness in me. Men, even if they are inspired, unless he's the one that my Lord calls, he won't be able to love me.
In a way, I can see God's shield over me. If it's like what the male nurse said, as if many men would chase me, wouldn't it be worse?
I'm learning to surrender more as I grow older.
And the beauty of surrendering is knowing that no matter who the person I like loves or who loves him, it doesn't matter cos ultimately we know, it's God who decides.
Same for me. God already has a book written about me. Why am I fretting?
On the morning of 31st December, I spoke to you again.
"You are very beautiful..."
I thank you for your kind and honest words.
In the midst of what you are facing, yet you are listening and assuring me.
I believe you cos I believe what God says.
I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works and my soul knows that very well.
That very first time you told me that I'm very beautiful, I laid it in my heart and I wrote this to God without thinking.
God, You make me more and more beautiful than I ever know myself!
I told you that was not how I saw myself. In fact, I can only tell God this. I can't even tell anyone that I see myself the way I think others see me, stuck in the physical sense.
I'm just as shallow as anyone. I always see beauty as tall, slim, brains...
I fall short of the world's beauty standards, especially my own standards.
For the very first time, I can actually use the word 'beautiful' to describe myself.
I thought all I can do is to beautify my heart cos I'm not beautiful on the outside.
And I felt so sad and guilty towards my Creator.
Lord, forgive me for despising Your creation!
It is in You that I can finally come to terms with myself.
And I begin to realise all the issues that I face are not unique to people with disabilities.
Everyone faces issues like low self-esteem, rejection, unfulfilled relationships......
I am not immune to universal issues but neither am I having these issues just because I have a disability.
I'm just like you.
You are just like me.
There's no line that divides between the normal you and the 'abnormal' me.
All I need is only physical help that is slightly more than you, just like an elderly who needs mobility aids.
I am beautiful because of You, O Lord!
Jesus has no beauty that we should desire Him.
Yet He is the most desirable Man in this world cos He died for you and me.
If the most desirable Man so desires me that He saved me from the miry clay, set my feet upon a rock and established my steps, am I not beautiful? Am I not desirable to have a Husband like Him?
Year 2016 will be a year of more yielding and surrendering from me to my Abba Father.
For it is in quietness and rest, in confidence and trust that I know how real You are.
So many things unsettled for this year yet I will trust You O Lord!
I will lift my hands to You, not to man but You and You alone.
Your Word will be ingrained in my mind and heart, not the careless words of man.
What are man's words compared to Yours?
Thank You Lord for saving me.
For saving me for greater things in You.
For molding me for greater things.
For letting me know that no matter what lies ahead, You are before me.
You have already prepared in advance what You have in store for me.
All You want is my 100% willingness to cooperate with You.
With Love,
Your very beautiful and precious daughter
Blessed 2016 everyone, to me too!
Was like asking God, "Can You let me sleep more?"
Sometimes it works.
But like the morning after caroling at Geylang, certain things just need to be written out before I lose that moment to be able to say it the best.
Just came back from Arise Issachar! Crossover Worldview Camp in JB on New Year's eve.
God can surface a lot of stuff within that 4 days 3 nights.
God can do anything at any time and anywhere but many times, we are not there.
It's a lot of busyness with others this whole December holiday.
I was like, hey, I better catch up with so-and-so before they start school...
I do enjoy every process of interacting with people, though when it comes to expressing myself, I think I come across clearer when I write rather than speak.
I do feel frustrated when I can't express that deepest feelings in face-to-face interactions.
Twice you said that sentence, "You are very beautiful."
First time in whatsapp, second time face-to-face and finally I could understand a little more of what you meant.
Because of what you said, because you are the first one to ever say that to me, your words left a great impact on me.
Yes, I do receive lots of good comments like I'm courageous, inspiring...but I don't think anyone ever told me that I'm beautiful, not to say 'very beautiful'.
I doubted the first time, or rather I cannot understand how I'm beautiful in the physical sense.
You meant it in the physical sense too.
I remembered when I was in my teens, a male nurse actually commented to his colleague in front of me that if I do not have this condition, there would be many people chasing after me.
Words spoken can haunt us for life if we do not realise the potency of it.
Again in teenage years, when friends bypass me while asking everyone what kind of boyfriends they want, I thought I'm not qualified to desire a boyfriend.
As years passed, no one dared to ask me about my relationship status, save for strangers whom I do not want to share with.
Why would I want to share my private stuff with people who just want to satisfy their curiosity but have no intention of staying in my life?
You are the second person to ask me about my love life.
As little as I had, yet the past 5 years was like a counterfeit of what a relationship is like.
We spoke from 1+ to 4+ am in the dark, at that cold dining area, on 30 December 2015.
That was Part 1.
I thought I have finished crying.
I gave myself one month to cry after a 5 years 'relationship'.
I thought, wow, that's impressive. Thank God! I recovered at such an amazing speed.
I won! I could get over him in one month. Well, at least, I did not waste my time moping over a man who doesn't deserve my tears.
I didn't want to get into depression, I didn't want to be weak. I have better things to do. God's Kingdom is at stake. What is my emotions compared to the larger issues in life?
See? I'm an expert in masking myself.
On the surface, I'm this super brave woman inspiring others.
I thought I have stopped being a superwoman after I came to Christ.
Apparently, I still have that side of me.
Since my mum died when I was 19 years old, I was forced to grow up overnight.
If I don't fend for myself, no one will be there for me.
Sounds familiar?
And so I told you how I really felt after that confrontation which he imposed on me.
I was unprepared yet I knew I had to hear him out.
"I have never pursued you."
You are honest, that I know. You are insensitive, that I also know. All I could say was, "You are embarrassing me."
Then you asked, "Even if I have a girlfriend, can't you be my 知己?" Oh, that day then I knew I was a 知己.
Your question woke me up. I thank God that no matter how I felt, I cut that soul tie at that very moment.
You had experiences before. I didn't.
You initiated most of the time, I didn't.
My part in this was, I was the willing party.
I enjoyed the attention given by you. Why wouldn't anyone, man or woman?
My fault was, I did not set the boundary. Neither did you, though I wonder if you ever realize that.
So yes, we were both at fault.
And so friend, I told you about him.
I felt like I could be someone that he shared his emotions with but he never considered me or never dared to.
That was in 2014 but it was only in 2015 that God revealed why he would not be the one.
I'm grateful that it is not him. It wouldn't work out anyway.
So that early morning talk with you helped me to have a better idea of why I felt the things I feel now.
16 years old niece said, "Ah yi, you are so nice but I don't understand why no guys like you. Then what about me?"
I was flattered, amused but ya, I know.
Seems like only women can see the goodness in me. Men, even if they are inspired, unless he's the one that my Lord calls, he won't be able to love me.
In a way, I can see God's shield over me. If it's like what the male nurse said, as if many men would chase me, wouldn't it be worse?
I'm learning to surrender more as I grow older.
And the beauty of surrendering is knowing that no matter who the person I like loves or who loves him, it doesn't matter cos ultimately we know, it's God who decides.
Same for me. God already has a book written about me. Why am I fretting?
On the morning of 31st December, I spoke to you again.
"You are very beautiful..."
I thank you for your kind and honest words.
In the midst of what you are facing, yet you are listening and assuring me.
I believe you cos I believe what God says.
I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works and my soul knows that very well.
That very first time you told me that I'm very beautiful, I laid it in my heart and I wrote this to God without thinking.
God, You make me more and more beautiful than I ever know myself!
I told you that was not how I saw myself. In fact, I can only tell God this. I can't even tell anyone that I see myself the way I think others see me, stuck in the physical sense.
I'm just as shallow as anyone. I always see beauty as tall, slim, brains...
I fall short of the world's beauty standards, especially my own standards.
For the very first time, I can actually use the word 'beautiful' to describe myself.
I thought all I can do is to beautify my heart cos I'm not beautiful on the outside.
And I felt so sad and guilty towards my Creator.
Lord, forgive me for despising Your creation!
It is in You that I can finally come to terms with myself.
And I begin to realise all the issues that I face are not unique to people with disabilities.
Everyone faces issues like low self-esteem, rejection, unfulfilled relationships......
I am not immune to universal issues but neither am I having these issues just because I have a disability.
I'm just like you.
You are just like me.
There's no line that divides between the normal you and the 'abnormal' me.
All I need is only physical help that is slightly more than you, just like an elderly who needs mobility aids.
I am beautiful because of You, O Lord!
Jesus has no beauty that we should desire Him.
Yet He is the most desirable Man in this world cos He died for you and me.
If the most desirable Man so desires me that He saved me from the miry clay, set my feet upon a rock and established my steps, am I not beautiful? Am I not desirable to have a Husband like Him?
Year 2016 will be a year of more yielding and surrendering from me to my Abba Father.
For it is in quietness and rest, in confidence and trust that I know how real You are.
So many things unsettled for this year yet I will trust You O Lord!
I will lift my hands to You, not to man but You and You alone.
Your Word will be ingrained in my mind and heart, not the careless words of man.
What are man's words compared to Yours?
Thank You Lord for saving me.
For saving me for greater things in You.
For molding me for greater things.
For letting me know that no matter what lies ahead, You are before me.
You have already prepared in advance what You have in store for me.
All You want is my 100% willingness to cooperate with You.
With Love,
Your very beautiful and precious daughter
Thursday, 31 December 2015
The best place to be at is the place I need to be
In the lift going to the platform of Orchard MRT, this young lady was alone with me. Suddenly, she said, "Happy New Year to myself!" I was like stunned. She wasn't speaking to anyone on the phone. Then I turned and looked at her, wanting to catch her attention, perhaps to say a new year greeting or...But she looked at me for a split second and left.
Was drizzling on the way home. Heavy rain when I'm home. Always thankful to God for such moments. When inconveniences arise, without God in our lives, we would have cursed, we would get angry, we would blame everyone except ourselves but with God in our lives, we can say with confidence, "Lord, You have something in mind. Everything that had happened, is happening and will happen, You have already written in Your book for us."
As each day unfolds, You reveal a little more. This fact inspires me to look forward to each day, even when this moment can be difficult...
Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting (neglecting, no longer caring for, forgotten, given over to oblivion) those things which are behind and REACHING FORWARD to those things which are AHEAD. (Philippians 3)
It is when our hands are not tightly clasped that we can behold new and greater things, much more than what our mind and heart can imagine. Actions are needed to let go of the past, no matter how sweet or bitter, they are the past and cannot be the same anymore. Reaching forward is to stretch out to or towards, to stretch (one's self) forward to those greater things which are in front, before us. Greater things, so near yet so far.
God says, "Come." We say, "No!" or "Wait!"
The rejections we face every day, accumulated over the years, He said, "What you have experienced is just a little of the rejections I faced at the cross."
I stopped. Yes. Lord, You are right. And I'm honoured to feel a little of what You felt and are still feeling. And my perspective changed.
The best place to be at is the place I need to be.
Was drizzling on the way home. Heavy rain when I'm home. Always thankful to God for such moments. When inconveniences arise, without God in our lives, we would have cursed, we would get angry, we would blame everyone except ourselves but with God in our lives, we can say with confidence, "Lord, You have something in mind. Everything that had happened, is happening and will happen, You have already written in Your book for us."
As each day unfolds, You reveal a little more. This fact inspires me to look forward to each day, even when this moment can be difficult...
Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting (neglecting, no longer caring for, forgotten, given over to oblivion) those things which are behind and REACHING FORWARD to those things which are AHEAD. (Philippians 3)
It is when our hands are not tightly clasped that we can behold new and greater things, much more than what our mind and heart can imagine. Actions are needed to let go of the past, no matter how sweet or bitter, they are the past and cannot be the same anymore. Reaching forward is to stretch out to or towards, to stretch (one's self) forward to those greater things which are in front, before us. Greater things, so near yet so far.
God says, "Come." We say, "No!" or "Wait!"
The rejections we face every day, accumulated over the years, He said, "What you have experienced is just a little of the rejections I faced at the cross."
I stopped. Yes. Lord, You are right. And I'm honoured to feel a little of what You felt and are still feeling. And my perspective changed.
The best place to be at is the place I need to be.
Sunday, 27 December 2015
Give thanks with a grateful heart
Heartfelt thanks to the staff at Coos for reminding us to give thanks to our God who absolutely deserves our Thanksgiving every moment.
Thanksgiving reminds us of our strengths n weaknesses, our beauty and our ugliness, our blessings and challenges...definitely cultivates contentment that is tied with godliness...
If there is anything we can boast of, it is Christ Himself, the Hope of each individual life!
A fabulous 2015. Awaiting 2016 that radiates even brighter the glory of our Lord Jesus!
Friday, 25 December 2015
神爱芽笼 To Geylang with love
十二月，我响应了救主堂芽笼部对教友们的号召，第一次加入了一年一度的圣诞外展，希望通过报佳音，给从事性服务的女士们，带来神爱的信息。
十六日，我去排练，也第一次到芽笼步行祷告。我的心非常沉重。多数的淫媒都是上了年纪的大叔和阿姨。主办者已与他们在这五年里建立起感情，所以看到难能可贵的互敬精神。他们已成为朋友了！
一名妓院里的负责人请我们喝水,其他的负责人也对我们友善。我们无法和妓女们有多少接触，因为她们都不准出来和我们沟通，只能在妓院门口彼此打招呼。一个淫媒甚至不知道他旗下小姐的名字，只称呼她为“十二号"。
对其中一名性工作者，我给予同情，深怕她看见我脸上的表情。我从来就抗拒与不信可怜别人能帮到那个人的处境。人们需要的是同理心，并非同情心。我们必需设身处地地为她们着想，想象她们所想的。这名妓女和我一样，是个珍贵的女人，不是一件物品，不是一宗交易。她不代表她穿在身上用来吸引顾客的衣裳。她本乎照着神的形象所造。
昨天，是我人生中最难忘的平安夜。我们从傍晚六点三十分到十点三十分，在芽笼报佳音。我唱到喉咙都沙哑了。在首两个妓院门口，我哽咽着，心里的感受难以言喻。这些女子在这里干什么？为什么她们不珍惜自己的身子？难道她们不晓得她们的身体如此圣洁与宝贵吗？不管淫媒如何友善，我知他知，这是错的。可为什么为了金钱，他们愿意出卖自己的灵魂呢？
这些问题可能无法得到一样的答案。在我的一生中，我可以问父神所有的“为什么", 认为除非得到令我满意的答案后，我才会行动，才会做一件新事。但神会揭露所有的答案吗？还是祂会说：“相信我，我会示范给你看，让你晓得该怎么做。" 有很多次，在经历每一个考验后，方才明了我为什么需要这样的考验。我会向神说：“啊。。。感谢父神，您没有给我心里所愿的!"
这些问题可能无法得到一样的答案。在我的一生中，我可以问父神所有的“为什么", 认为除非得到令我满意的答案后，我才会行动，才会做一件新事。但神会揭露所有的答案吗？还是祂会说：“相信我，我会示范给你看，让你晓得该怎么做。" 有很多次，在经历每一个考验后，方才明了我为什么需要这样的考验。我会向神说：“啊。。。感谢父神，您没有给我心里所愿的!"
渐渐的，我开始领悟到我到那里的原因。七十七个教友，分成三组，各组唱不同的歌曲。不管淫媒，妓女或顾客在芽笼的原因，我们在那里的目的是把耶稣基督带给他们。我们在那里服事，并不是在说卖淫在神的眼里是对的。看看神如何爱我们。尽管我们犯下多少罪，祂先爱我们，然后让我们晓得自己的过犯。我向神祈求，有一天卖淫不再有需求。每个人会把卖淫看成是心里的堕落，而这堕落是如何污秽和毁坏人的一生。
我们总共去了三十二间妓院。这不包括公共场所。我们不准在那里拍照或录影。最后，我们却成了每位小姐的拍摄对象。做在轮椅上让我受到欢迎。两名性工作者特意与我独照，一位还在我脸颊上轻吻。我扪心自问，我厌恶她的举动吗？不，我只是不喜欢有口红在我脸上罢了:）
超过一半的妓女来自泰国，然后是中国和越南。看到我们，她们真的很开心。她们年轻漂亮，有些甚至甜美与单纯。真的，我看得出来。我不知道我还能做什么，就算是每年去那里报佳音。但我相信，我们无条件地付出，不把她们当成商品来看待，已足够温暖她们的心。爱迫使我们区分人的价值与他的行为。我们不是我们的作为。我们所做的，由神用祂的标准来审判我们。
我们到达一个非法赌博的巷口。有很多人在两个地区聚集。我们站在自己的岗位，面对着他们。我不知道队友们感受如何，但我尽情地歌唱。是的，我要通过歌曲如“一件礼物", 用神爱的信息来唤醒他们！当时，在我脑海中有这个顾虑，我们这样嚷嚷，而他们在做生意，那我们的处境是否危险？在这当儿，我见两名外地劳工拿饮料给我们喝。这是非法赌博摊位老板的善举啊！
人的心往往专注在错的事情上。我们在那里经历了属灵的战争。人们看见我们，以为我们为了圣诞节而高歌。他们不知道在属灵的世界里，一场场抗争早已展开。
爱神比爱人来得容易。然而，尽心，尽性，尽力，尽意爱主我们的神，也要求我们爱照着神的形象所造的人。如果我们不能爱人，那我们就不能爱神。两者息息相关，因为神爱世人，甚至将祂的独身子赐给他们，叫一切信祂的，不致灭亡，反得永生。
唯有爱神，永生才有意义。
没有实践，神的话语只是理论。报佳音前，我和你一样，只记得理论。但在芽笼，去拥抱这些被世界唾弃的妓女们，一点儿也不肮脏，因为我记得她们和我们一样珍贵。我永不认同她们的作为，但我会牢记在心：就算意见不和，生活作息不同，爱还是可以存在。。。
事实上，如果爱因意见不和而消失，那我们应自问爱在起先是否存在。
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)