Why do dads matter?

"Why do dads matter?

Firstly, international studies have shown that children with more involved fathers develop better, physically and emotionally. These children seem to adapt better in social situations, have higher self-esteem, fewer behavioural problems and better physical health. They also have stronger language skills and cognitive development.

Secondly, many mums would like parenting to be a true partnership, where dads are just as involved as they are. Like dads, many mums today have careers they love. And, doing well at work is no less satisfying than raising a family. But they can only juggle the demands of work and family if the daddies are fully on board."

-MP Josephine Teo, 6 Feb

https://www.facebook.com/notes/josephine-teo/confessions-of-a-new-parent/975292019211760

Since last year, I don't know when exactly but suddenly I became more pro-family than ever before. Being single, coming from a dysfunctional family, it is really strange of me to advocate for marriage, wholesome family, welfare of children...all the things that I do now is not me. 

I used to 'hate' children for their blunt honesty, I used to hate even the word 'father' being mentioned but suddenly my heart warms when I read that more and more support is given to dads to bond with their kids, to partner with their wives in parenting. 

And I wrote on my facebook wall, "Fathers, you are very important! Never let anyone, including yourself tell you otherwise!"

It's like a shoutout to my own father. 

Had early reunion dinner with my family last night. 

Dad talked about how hard it is to take care of my 5 years old step-brother and compared it with how hard it was for him when I was young.

Actually my memories of my childhood are just hospital stays, fractures, surgeries, healing, fractures again and the cycle went on. My memories are not too good scenarios of my father's hot temper, throwing of things, verbal abuse to my sisters etc. Perhaps I did have some good memories of him but the events are less than my ten fingers. Then more bad memories after my mum passed away. 

Suddenly it hit me that while I may have forgotten what he has done for me as a dad, that does not mean he did not do anything for me.

I didn't probe cos it hurts when he talked about the past in a way that I don't agree with. 

My memories are too full of my mum that he seemed not to have a place in them.

Are dads important? Having a dad means I'm not illegitimate.

Having an absent dad in the end is no different from not having a dad.

It hurts cos I didn't have a role model of how a man with emotions is like. 

I didn't know how to relate to men, needing protection but no man to protect me.

I heard too many ugly words that stayed with me since I was a teenager. 

That's why I totally agree with God's Word how influential our tongue is- for well-being or for destruction.

It didn't help that my formative years were spent in the hospital, being forced to 'grow up', to interact with adult nurses when I was just a child with no playmate.

Over the years, it is God who stirred in my heart to forgive my dad. 

If I truly love my heavenly Father, how can I hate or not forgive my earthly father whom I can see?

It was and still is a long process. I struggle between respecting him as my father and agreeing with how he chooses to lead his life.

I come to a point whereby I recognize that he has freewill and there is a limit to my worries and what I can change.

God will enable me to do what I can, one step at a time. 

And yes, it's still tough interacting with him. We start and stop at superficial things but I guess we need to start somewhere.

And so dads or promising dads, you are very important. Your daughter will look at you and know what kind of man is good for her. Your son will grow to be like you. 

I thank God that there are now more men who are involved dads. 

You guys spark the hope in me that our children will grow up healthily in all aspects.

What we didn't have before, we want to give it to the next generation!