Parents want committed boyfriends for their daughters

This letter was sent to ST Forum but was not published.

Mr Brandon Wade has a contorted view of what parents require of the future partners of their daughters when he claimed that "today's sugar daddies are wealthy and successful boyfriends- the type of men most Singaporean mothers tell their daughters to date." ('Boss of sugar dating sites on the defence' ;30 August)

All parents want the best for their children. They want the future partners of their children to be of good character, to be committed to their family and to be financially stable in their career. 

Which father would want his daughter to post photos of herself in suggestive poses or dressed in bikinis or lingerie to find a boyfriend who can bid the highest price for her to go on dates? ('Not so sweet on sugar daddy sites' ; 16 August) 

Several men were upfront in their intention for sex. Does any parent want their daughter to be treated like a plaything for money?

Which mother would want her daughter to date a man who is 'married but looking', knowing that this man is committing adultery?

Mr Wade launched Openminded.com in April, an "ethical cheating" portal for polyamory in which people engage in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all involved. I do not think any parent would want their daughter to be cheated, a behaviour no doubt ethically wrong. 

Furthermore, senior director for youth services at the Singapore Children's Society Carol Balhetchet said, "We are hearing from a growing number of parents of their daughters engaging in commercial sex and we are worried about the vulnerable young. I think there are also others who are just materialistic and should be aware of consequences , such as being addicted to cash for sex or getting sexually transmitted diseases". 

It is unthinkable how Mr Wade can liken a sugar daddy who pays a young woman for companionship to "a rich boyfriend who spoils his girlfriend or a husband who gives his wife an allowance" It is obvious that the former is cash for sex between strangers while the latter is established on a legal and committed relationship for married couples. The former can easily become a little more than prostitution as police warned of the possibility of action.

In this materialistic society where many people equate material possessions with happiness, it is time we teach our children the true value of love and sex. The greatest gift of love cannot be bought with the highest bid. Our body cannot be sold for any price.