The best place to be at is the place I need to be

In the lift going to the platform of Orchard MRT, this young lady was alone with me. Suddenly, she said, "Happy New Year to myself!" I was like stunned. She wasn't speaking to anyone on the phone. Then I turned and looked at her, wanting to catch her attention, perhaps to say a new year greeting or...But she looked at me for a split second and left.

Was drizzling on the way home. Heavy rain when I'm home. Always thankful to God for such moments. When inconveniences arise, without God in our lives, we would have cursed, we would get angry, we would blame everyone except ourselves but with God in our lives, we can say with confidence, "Lord, You have something in mind. Everything that had happened, is happening and will happen, You have already written in Your book for us."

As each day unfolds, You reveal a little more. This fact inspires me to look forward to each day, even when this moment can be difficult...

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting (neglecting, no longer caring for, forgotten, given over to oblivion) those things which are behind and REACHING FORWARD to those things which are AHEAD. (Philippians 3)

It is when our hands are not tightly clasped that we can behold new and greater things, much more than what our mind and heart can imagine. Actions are needed to let go of the past, no matter how sweet or bitter, they are the past and cannot be the same anymore. Reaching forward is to stretch out to or towards, to stretch (one's self) forward to those greater things which are in front, before us. Greater things, so near yet so far. 
God says, "Come." We say, "No!" or "Wait!"

The rejections we face every day, accumulated over the years, He said, "What you have experienced is just a little of the rejections I faced at the cross."

I stopped. Yes. Lord, You are right. And I'm honoured to feel a little of what You felt and are still feeling. And my perspective changed. 

The best place to be at is the place I need to be. 

Give thanks with a grateful heart

Heartfelt thanks to the staff at Coos for reminding us to give thanks to our God who absolutely deserves our Thanksgiving every moment.

Thanksgiving reminds us of our strengths n weaknesses, our beauty and our ugliness, our blessings and challenges...definitely cultivates contentment that is tied with godliness...

If there is anything we can boast of, it is Christ Himself, the Hope of each individual life!

A fabulous 2015. Awaiting 2016 that radiates even brighter the glory of our Lord Jesus!

神爱芽笼 To Geylang with love

十二月，我响应了救主堂芽笼部对教友们的号召，第一次加入了一年一度的圣诞外展，希望通过报佳音，给从事性服务的女士们，带来神爱的信息。

十六日，我去排练，也第一次到芽笼步行祷告。我的心非常沉重。多数的淫媒都是上了年纪的大叔和阿姨。主办者已与他们在这五年里建立起感情，所以看到难能可贵的互敬精神。他们已成为朋友了！

一名妓院里的负责人请我们喝水,其他的负责人也对我们友善。我们无法和妓女们有多少接触，因为她们都不准出来和我们沟通，只能在妓院门口彼此打招呼。一个淫媒甚至不知道他旗下小姐的名字，只称呼她为“十二号"。

对其中一名性工作者，我给予同情，深怕她看见我脸上的表情。我从来就抗拒与不信可怜别人能帮到那个人的处境。人们需要的是同理心，并非同情心。我们必需设身处地地为她们着想，想象她们所想的。这名妓女和我一样，是个珍贵的女人，不是一件物品，不是一宗交易。她不代表她穿在身上用来吸引顾客的衣裳。她本乎照着神的形象所造。

昨天，是我人生中最难忘的平安夜。我们从傍晚六点三十分到十点三十分，在芽笼报佳音。我唱到喉咙都沙哑了。在首两个妓院门口，我哽咽着，心里的感受难以言喻。这些女子在这里干什么？为什么她们不珍惜自己的身子？难道她们不晓得她们的身体如此圣洁与宝贵吗？不管淫媒如何友善，我知他知，这是错的。可为什么为了金钱，他们愿意出卖自己的灵魂呢？

这些问题可能无法得到一样的答案。在我的一生中，我可以问父神所有的“为什么", 认为除非得到令我满意的答案后，我才会行动，才会做一件新事。但神会揭露所有的答案吗？还是祂会说：“相信我，我会示范给你看，让你晓得该怎么做。" 有很多次，在经历每一个考验后，方才明了我为什么需要这样的考验。我会向神说：“啊。。。感谢父神，您没有给我心里所愿的!"

渐渐的，我开始领悟到我到那里的原因。七十七个教友，分成三组，各组唱不同的歌曲。不管淫媒，妓女或顾客在芽笼的原因，我们在那里的目的是把耶稣基督带给他们。我们在那里服事，并不是在说卖淫在神的眼里是对的。看看神如何爱我们。尽管我们犯下多少罪，祂先爱我们，然后让我们晓得自己的过犯。我向神祈求，有一天卖淫不再有需求。每个人会把卖淫看成是心里的堕落，而这堕落是如何污秽和毁坏人的一生。

我们总共去了三十二间妓院。这不包括公共场所。我们不准在那里拍照或录影。最后，我们却成了每位小姐的拍摄对象。做在轮椅上让我受到欢迎。两名性工作者特意与我独照，一位还在我脸颊上轻吻。我扪心自问，我厌恶她的举动吗？不，我只是不喜欢有口红在我脸上罢了:）

超过一半的妓女来自泰国，然后是中国和越南。看到我们，她们真的很开心。她们年轻漂亮，有些甚至甜美与单纯。真的，我看得出来。我不知道我还能做什么，就算是每年去那里报佳音。但我相信，我们无条件地付出，不把她们当成商品来看待，已足够温暖她们的心。爱迫使我们区分人的价值与他的行为。我们不是我们的作为。我们所做的，由神用祂的标准来审判我们。

我们到达一个非法赌博的巷口。有很多人在两个地区聚集。我们站在自己的岗位，面对着他们。我不知道队友们感受如何，但我尽情地歌唱。是的，我要通过歌曲如“一件礼物", 用神爱的信息来唤醒他们！当时，在我脑海中有这个顾虑，我们这样嚷嚷，而他们在做生意，那我们的处境是否危险？在这当儿，我见两名外地劳工拿饮料给我们喝。这是非法赌博摊位老板的善举啊！

人的心往往专注在错的事情上。我们在那里经历了属灵的战争。人们看见我们，以为我们为了圣诞节而高歌。他们不知道在属灵的世界里，一场场抗争早已展开。

爱神比爱人来得容易。然而，尽心，尽性，尽力，尽意爱主我们的神，也要求我们爱照着神的形象所造的人。如果我们不能爱人，那我们就不能爱神。两者息息相关，因为神爱世人，甚至将祂的独身子赐给他们，叫一切信祂的，不致灭亡，反得永生。

唯有爱神，永生才有意义。

没有实践，神的话语只是理论。报佳音前，我和你一样，只记得理论。但在芽笼，去拥抱这些被世界唾弃的妓女们，一点儿也不肮脏，因为我记得她们和我们一样珍贵。我永不认同她们的作为，但我会牢记在心：就算意见不和，生活作息不同，爱还是可以存在。。。

事实上，如果爱因意见不和而消失，那我们应自问爱在起先是否存在。

To Geylang with love

On my first caroling practice followed by street outreach in Geylang on 16 Dec, I was very heavy-hearted. Most of the pimps were senior citizens, your average uncles and even aunties. The person-in-charge has forged a relationship with them over 5 years such that there is mutual respect and yes, they are friends. One offered us drinks, almost all were friendly to us. We didn't get to really interact with the ladies cos all were not allowed to come out and meet us. At most, we could only see them from outside the brothels. One pimp didn't even know a street lady's name. He knew her as number 12.

I remembered one brothel girl. I was full of pity for her. I was so afraid that she could see my emotion on my face. I'm one who shuns pity. I don't believe in pitying people. What people need is not pity but empathy. That we try to put ourselves in their shoes and think like they do. I see her as a woman, just like me. She's not a commodity, not a transaction. She's not what she wears. She's first and foremost, made in God's image.

Yesterday, Christmas Eve, my most memorable one spent in Geylang from 630pm-1030pm. I sang until I felt soreness in the throat. Outside the first two brothels, I was choked with emotions. What are these women doing here? Why are they not treasuring themselves? Don't they know how sacred and precious their bodies are? No matter how friendly the pimp was, I know, he knows, that this is wrong but why, oh why, for money, they are betraying their souls? 

All these questions may not have the same answers. I can be asking God all the whys in my life, thinking that unless all my whys are being answered to my satisfaction, I will not, I cannot move or start a new thing. But does God reveal all the answers? Or does He say, "Trust me, I will show you how to do it." Many times, I only know why after I have gone through each challenge and I would, "Oh..., thank God You didn't give me what I had wanted!"  

As the night progressed, I learnt to capture the reason of why I was there. There were 77 of us, split into 3 groups, with different songs. No matter the reasons for why the pimps, the prostitutes, the customers were there, we were there to bring Christ to them. By being there, no one is saying that all these are right in God's eyes. Just like how God loves us. He loves us first in spite of all of our wrongs and convicted us of our sins. In my heart, I pray that there would be no more demand and thus no more supply. Man would see prostitution as a heart condition and how its ugliness ruins lives.

We went to 32 brothels altogether, not including open spaces.  We were told not to take any picture or video of the brothels, ladies and customers. Well, in the end we were captured in almost every lady's handphone. My chair made me famous. Two brothel girls specifically took solo pictures with me, one even kissing me on my cheek. I was checking my heart. Did I feel disdain? No, she's just like any woman friend. Just that I don't like lipstick on my face :)

More than half of the brothel girls are from Thailand, followed by China and Vietnam. They were truly happy to receive us. Many were young and pretty, some even sweet and innocent. Really. I can tell. I don't know what I can do, even if I were to go there annually. But I trust that our being there, no strings attached, not looking at the ladies as commodities but treating them as fellow human beings, warm their hearts. Love compels us to first see a person's worth as divorced from his deeds. What we are, is not what we do. What we do is judged by the standards of God. 

We went into this lane where there was illegal gambling. There were 2 areas where many people gathered. We positioned ourselves, facing them. I don't know about others but I sang with all my might cos yes, I wanted to wake them up with the messages of God in the songs, "一件礼物" etc.

In my mind, there was this concern. Were we in danger zone cos we were so loud and they were doing business? Then I saw two foreign workers bringing water and soft drinks to us. They were kind gestures from the illegal gambling owners!

Man has a heart. But many times, it can be focused on the wrong things. Definitely we were having spiritual warfare there. The people saw us as just singing cos it was Christmas. They didn't know that battles were raging in the spiritual realm.

It is easier to love God than to love man. However, to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength also requires us to love man made in His image. If we cannot love man, we cannot love God. Both are linked for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son Jesus, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.   

Eternal life is only meaningful when we love God. 

God's Word is just theory when we don't practise it. Before I joined the caroling, I'm just like you. In theory, I remember. But to be there, to hug the very people that the world despises; the prostitutes, is not dirty when I remember that they are as valuable as you and me. I do not and will not agree with what they do but I will always remember: love can exist in disagreement of opinions, lifestyles...

In fact, if love dissipates when opinions clash, then we must question if love ever existed in the first place. 

Are you lonely?

Before I received Christ, Christmas is one of the holidays that stirred up loneliness in me. 

As if must go out n be with people else I am unpopular...

After I came to Christ, well, Christmas is a time of reflection. 

In fact, all year round, just surround me with books n I can hibernate at home for not too long 😉

What I'm saying is, our worth is not tied to how many activities we are involved in, how many friends we have, how much things or people we are surrounded with.

We are so worthy that Jesus came to earth to be with us for 33 years. 

He loved us so much that He died on the cross for you and me, all written in His love letters to us.

I read news of people having marriage breakdown, divorced, remarried and still have recurring problems. Truly, we cannot see the root of our problems without our Saviour. 

Children suffer because of the mistakes of adults. 

And these children grow up to make the same or worse mistakes than their parents...

If perfect love is found in man, this world would not be in chaos. 

Yet man seek perfect love.

Many of us have found that perfect love in Jesus Christ. 

Some would not believe but those who do and work out their faith, their lives have totally changed.

This Christmas, are you lonely? 

Are you filling up your days to cover up that loneliness? 

You are not alone, when you know that you are worthy to be loved perfectly.

When Merry becomes Mary again

Scene 1:
Merry was a shopaholic. Christmas is the best time to shop. Then she reached a bottomless pit. She owed credit card companies more than $79,000.

Her dad left her when she was a kid on Christmas eve. Her mum left her too, leaving her with her grandfather. Merry changed her named from 'Mary' to 'Merry' cos she truly wants to be happy. She encountered God through an angel and finally realized that all these presents that she bought for herself, she pretended that they were all from her dad. Finally she decided to reconcile with her mum.

Scene 2:
Wife had an abortion because of her ambitions. Husband Gary could not forgive her and they drifted apart and had a breakdown in their communication. Both had a teenage daughter. Husband had an affair and mistress Juliet was pregnant. Both believed that they were in love. When the man's daughter had an accident and was in a coma, Gary was devastated and started to see the folly of his actions. Juliet was heartbroken that her man would leave her so she wanted to commit suicide.

The situations seemed so desperate. To kill oneself seems to be the easy way. Why not end the suffering of oneself?

But our life is not our own. Even if God is not in the picture, what about our family members? Our debts, our sorrows, our mess, we selfishly leave them to those we love.

Because there is Jesus, Merry's eyes were opened to her hurt and could move on.  

Gary realised his mistakes and decided to start all over again with his wife. Juliet was given extraordinary strength and hope to give birth to her child, even as a single mother. 

The world says, "Come on, that baby is a burden. You are still so young and single. You can find another man again."

Conscience says, "This baby is a precious life. Don't make the worst mistake of your life!"

It may be a musical that seems to have a perfect ending. 
But who says life cannot be touched by a perfect God to follow a perfect way?

For all have sinned and fallen short of His glory.
We can fall but we can stand up again.
Just like a toddler learning to walk.
So brave, so real, so beautiful.
That's human beings.
That's you and me.   

Layers and layers I will tear apart, to heal your wounding heart

When I was in school, we liked to wrap our little present with layers of newspapers to trick the receiver that the gift looks bigger than it really was. 

It was also to increase the excitement of opening a gift. 

Then today I thought, ah, that's like our heart.

But our heart is more like a dumpling, wrapped tightly n in knots that can't be untangled easily. 

Hung up there, waiting for someone, that someone to bring the dumpling down, untangle the string with great patience, unwrap the leaves gently and there you are, soft, vulnerable but so real. 

It's you, that child in you, so like me, in need of authentic love, care and concern. 

All you need is for me to love you with truth. 

Truth that's not comfortable to you but you know me. 

We have a relationship.

He said, "Layers and layers I will tear apart, to heal your wounding heart."

Not just for you. 

Also for me.

Every person with a disability can be supported to rise above any challenge

As a woman born with brittle bones, I cringe at the singling out of disabled unborn children to justify abortion (“Value dignity of unborn with disabilities”; Dec 14).

In the Guidelines on Termination of Pregnancy, the “contents of pre-abortion counselling may be adapted for women diagnosed with foetal abnormalities”. Real discrimination happens to unborn children; not every baby is accorded the same value before birth. (The womb has become the most dangerous place for a child to be in. It is there where his life could be legally snuffed out.)

No woman feels empowered when considering abortion, more so for a woman whose unborn child is diagnosed with a disability or health condition. What she and her family need is not a quick fix to get rid of a perceived burden to the family and society, but rather to be linked to the available resources and be supported in the child’s milestone development.

The human spirit should not be underestimated. Every person can be supported to rise above any challenge.

The Prime Minister recently said that the character of individual citizens, rather than blueprints and programmes, decide whether a society is good or bad, a success or a failure (“Push for more inclusive S’pore must continue: PM”; Dec 3).

He added, in his speech at the official launch of the Enabling Village — Singapore’s first community space for people with disabilities — that an inclusive society can be built by valuing everyone and through active citizenship.

Before any person with a disability can be valued, he must be given an equal opportunity to live.

In the 1970s, when ultrasound scans and pre-abortion counselling were unheard of, I was given a chance at life. My mother, the primary carer, had no support group or professional advice on how to care for a special-needs child.

But she had the tenacity and responsibility that come with motherhood. At birth, my bones were breakable at every wrong touch. My childhood was spent in hospitals healing from fractures. Outsiders deemed me a child with no future.

All I had was an extraordinary mother who believed in maximising her child’s potential. I was given education and am now an educator with the ability to impact lives.

As one who was seen as hopeless at birth, not even my parents could have predicted a fruitful life for me. All I needed was that chance.

Even as I celebrate my birthday each year, 8,515 babies last year never got to celebrate theirs here. Every child deserves a birthday.
http://m.todayonline.com/voices/every-person-disability-can-be-supported-rise-above-any-challenge

When we build our lives upon Your blood

Totally no idea on what to draw or paint. Started with my favourite blue, then drew a tree with pink fruits, mustard seeds on the ground then dun know why but I wanted red to cover the original yellow background n black to cover up all that is not nice. Aren't sins a cover up of what is shameful?

Black symbolizes our sins, red the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. He cleansed us of our sins by dying on the cross for us, such that we can come to our holy Father.

Our new life is built on His blood and the cross that is our relationship with Jesus. A thicker vertical relationship with Him, then a thinner one with His people. Priority is first to be connected to Jesus before we can better connect to people.

Well, as a clumsy first-timer, I stained the blue background n so red comes in. The blood of Jesus protects, heals and guides each new life, cos we are no longer orphans but sons of our Almighty God!

How did I come to this? This wasn't my original idea or plan.

Well, with Jesus, it's all His plans!

To niece, from aunt

Dearest B,
I remember telling you and my friends that I feel guilty that I cannot give all my time and spend all my energy equally among the 6 of you.
Sometimes I wish I can split myself into 6 parts, so that none of you would think that I love each of you less.
You were the special one when you were in your mother's womb.
Maybe it's because your mum is my eldest sister.
With mum no longer around, your mum is like a 'mum' to me, the once youngest in the family.
I was unusually protective of you when you were in the secret place.
You are just half a year apart from your eldest cousin.
I love him too but with you, I felt the miracle of life after your grandma's tragic and sudden death.
Life after death.
That sums up my born again experience.
That is why life is of utmost importance to me cos without a physical life, what other life can we talk about?
When you were a toddler, your mum knew that I love you.
I guess that was why she brought you to the hospital to bring me to my senses, though the hospital was not a place for you to be in.
I remember seeing you and your cutie face and suddenly one day, I was awakened.
I could not afford to be an aunt that was so irresponsible with my life.
What would you think of me when you grow up?
I remember you had fits during a high fever.
I was scared to death.
I was so afraid that I would face death again.
My heart pained when I saw you struggling when you were fed medicine.
My heart was comforted when you started to play again in the hospital.
Then you grew a little more.
You came for my baptism with your mum.
I was so happy.
You came when I gave a testimony and I sang in front of your mum at a home for the mentally ill.
I was ecstatic that the two of you, my beloved family members, came and support me.
Then you became a beautiful young lady, 16 years old!
Suddenly I realize a lot of things have changed.
I used to be the one giving you instructions and you used to always say yes happily.
But you have changed.
Now you have a mind of your own.
You are like that tender seedling growing into a tree.
In a way, you don't belong to us anymore.
In fact, you never did.
You are a person of great worth; one seeking security and significance.
Don't find that in people and things.
Ask and it will be given to you.
Seek and you will find.
Knock and the door will be opened to you.
Honour and love your parents.
Pursue your dreams and do not be afraid of failing.
We will catch you.
We will be with you.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made and your soul knows that very well.
Never ever look down on yourself, my beloved.
May your eyes see further than yourself, your heart fuller than what it can hold, your hands and feet reaching out to help those in need.
You are meant to soar!

何谓浪漫？

很多年前，曾经有过浪漫的时刻。错的时间，遇到错的人。所幸，您救了我，没铸成大错。
去年，您又叫醒了我，结束了五年的不正常友谊。心里虽惋惜，却做了人生最正确的决定。没有拉拉扯扯，只有果断。
我不随便做任何男人的知己，我只做那对的人的知心密友，一生一世，坚持到底。
这就是浪漫。在对的时候，遇到对的人。哪怕是陪着他，尽情地工作着，一起为您的天国奋斗。
也许会有那么一天，也许没有，但这颗心，为您跳动着，因为您值得！
我的浪漫，就是与您有约，在您给我的小屋里，在有您的心房里。。。

彩虹下的約定

我空虚的心灵
终于不再流泪
期待着雨后
缤纷的彩虹
诉说你我的约定
我不安的脚步
终于可以停歇
主你已为我
摆设了生命的盛宴
与你有约
是永恒的约
彩虹为证
千古不变
我要歌唱
为生命喜悦
万物歌颂
你的慈爱
大地诉说
你的恩典

You give me the key!

My very first prophetic visual art drawn for me. Artist doesn't know me at all. First-hand download from God on what's in my heart.
Think I froze when I heard it😊

Always know I have the heart but I dun know if I have the means to do it. He gives me the key!!!

Praise God! Amazing experience. Dare to pursue!

Smallest homosexual population, highest HIV infections

This letter was sent to ST Forum but was not published.

I refer to the article "More than 300 cases of HIV infections reported among Singapore residents from Jan to Oct this year"; 1 Dec.

Out of the 144 cases reported, heterosexual transmission accounted for 38 per cent of these cases, while 50 per cent were from homosexual transmission and 10 per cent were from bisexual transmission. 

It is indeed troubling that about 2 per cent of our population which leads a homosexual or bisexual lifestyle accounts for more than half of HIV infections. Condoms are often not strong enough for anal intercourse, as written in its brochure on Condoms and Sexuality Transmitted Diseases by the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA). It is not surprising that 97 per cent infected were male.

Personally, I have friends who suffered trauma in the form of rape and molestation, with some coming from broken families. Trauma and many psychological issues undealt with, led them to explore a homosexual lifestyle. Through their faith and much support from family and friends, they have renounced this lifestyle. Their experience questions if homosexuality is genetic or due to many factors like family background, life circumstances, social environment, personality and external influences. ("Coming out: How Parents react is crucial"; Nov 21; Study did not prove that sexuality is genetic; 27 Nov)

As people with intrinsic value, our identity is not tied to our work, status, family background, race or sexual orientation. A person struggling with any problem should be first seen as a person of great worth. The road to recovery stems from professionals first identifying the root of any struggle with truth and compassion. Established organizations that issue inaccurate information can devastate the person seeking help. A person is said to be struggling with identity issue when he links society's non-acceptance of a high-risk sexual behaviour as rejecting him as a person.  

It is understandable that parents are rightly concerned about their children who are in a homosexual lifestyle. There is no cure for HIV infection and Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) is deadly. Love does not see a person walking down the path of destruction and not warn him.

Ensure measures are in place to address factors of domestic violence

I refer to the letter “To fight domestic violence, strive for gender equality” (Nov 9). Getting to the root of domestic violence is critical. But this case — where a man who strangled his wife was also clinically depressed and had experienced psychotic symptoms — there are other factors beyond gender equality at play.

According to news reports (“Chinese national, 61, gets 10 years’ jail for strangling wife”; Nov 3), the man had hallucinations and overvalued ideas of guilt and inadequacy.

The Institute of Mental Health report also noted that “the things said and done by the deceased provoked the accused in a sudden and substantial manner, which in conjunction with the accused’s altered state of mind, resulted in a significant loss of control over his actions”.

Violence should not be tolerated, but we cannot deny the many factors that give rise to it, and we should ensure that preventive and remedial measures are in place to address the various factors. In this case, the stress of not being able to find work here and the prospect of having to leave Singapore added to the mental burden on the man, as well as on the deceased. Were his friends or family alerted to his mental condition? If so, do they as foreigners here know where to seek help? How can we as the community show our concern to foreigners seeking to work here?

Men and women in Singapore have equal access to education and work opportunities. There are families where husbands choose to stay at home and wives choose to work outside the home. At the same time, there are wives comfortable being homemakers while their husbands provide for the family. I agree with the writer: In a marriage, the husband and a wife should mutually support each other.

They work as a team, complementing each other intellectually, socially and emotionally. A relationship is not a battleground over power, financial success and independence. It is a ground where a couple come to understand that they need each other.
http://m.todayonline.com/voices/ensure-measures-are-place-address-factors-domestic-violence

Choose life, not abortion

This letter was sent to ST Forum but was not published.

The silence on abortion and its effects on women has been broken by Jennifer Heng's honest baring of her past in 'Former wild child finds faith and new purpose', 8 Nov. 

Abortion was liberalised in 1969, purported "to promote the well-being of the woman and to avoid impairment of her health, in the interest of humanity and human progress".  Evidence from around the world has since indicated otherwise or at least undermined the assertion. Various studies have arisen, showing that abortion negatively affects women's mental health, contributes to maternal mortality, increases the risk of breast cancer and increases the risk of miscarriage.

Although the number of abortions in Singapore has been on the decline with 8,515 abortions last year, every child lost in an abortion is one too many. A child may be inside a woman's body but his or her body is a separate body from the mother's. The child is a person; a precious life.

No woman goes to an abortion clinic feeling empowered. She is facing a pregnancy crisis. When not presented with options available other than abortion, she feels like that is the only way. Just like Mrs Heng, every help is needed to engage a woman going through the crisis to make the best decision out of the circumstances.    

I applaud Mrs Heng's courage to tell her story of the pain she went through. Her two abortions left her trapped in years of guilt and shame as she recognised the humanity of her children. Her healing process spells hope for the men and women who grieve the death of their children through abortions. Rachel's Vineyard Singapore, the only known support group here helps both women and men come to terms with going through abortions. 

Truly, women deserve better than abortion. They can choose life.

Love has already arrived

Exactly 2 months to 9 years in Christ. God didn't and will not perfect everything in my life cos it's me who need to be perfect, just as He is perfect.
We have so many expectations from others, from society and obviously even from our Creator.
Lord, make me a vessel of this shape, like that person so I can serve You like that person.
Excuse me, aren't you just a vessel, to be made according to the way I have planned it? And who says that you need to be like that person? You are not that person!
As a person who is uniquely different just like everyone else, how do I expect the society to treat me?
Awareness and education of the public towards people with disabilities, mental illness and whatever condition is necessary.
Knowing the limitations of what humans can do is very important too.
The moment I step out of my house, I'm faced with very nice people and sometimes really not too nice remarks.
Can we say society is not aware? The fact is, we cannot control what others say or do towards people they view as 'weird' or whatever.
In fact, everyone faces the same issue from others. Someone will not like the way you talk, your eyes, your mannerisms, your dressing...
Even I am learning to accept myself through the love of Christ, engraving His word in my mind and heart that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made and our souls know that very well.
I will praise Him for His marvelous works, even when others or I can't see it as thoroughly as Him.
We all struggle with ourselves.
But we all excel in pointing the blame to others cos it takes the burden off us to look deep into ourselves and see the ugliness and imperfection in us.
Others need to be perfect, not me.
Others ought to accomodate me; I don't need to change.
Society needs to accept me, even when I can't accept myself.
If my condition deteriorates, excuse me, it's the fault of others, not me.
Sure, we can blame others and the society for whatever that happens to us.
But in the end, we are the ones who suffer.
Precious time and resources are lost in not taking responsibility for self.
Relationships are broken and badly affected cos the self is exalted.
Lessons are not learnt and this life is wasted cos we spend it making the same mistakes.
When the focus is on man, we will lose.
When we finally look up and see that all along, Help has never left, Hope is never lost and Love has long arrived before our arrival on earth.
I stand here and look on.
What can I do?
Who will believe me when I say God is the answer to all of life's problems?
He didn't and will not perfect my life on earth.
He is already my perfection.

Euthanasia short-circuits the natural process of death and grief

I refer to the letter “Govt should consider tweaking laws on euthanasia” (Sept 25). Relaxation of laws protecting life does not only affect some, but also alters the value of all human life. 

In a case in 2002, the European Court of Human Rights declared that the right to life under the European Convention could not be interpreted as conferring a “right to die”.

The progress of a society is seen in how compassionate it is in supporting the terminally ill and their families.

Cancer support groups such as the Singapore Cancer Society and The Revival Connection are created to help address the various concerns of cancer patients and their family members, helping them to ease their emotional burden.

The terminally ill go through five stages of grief: Denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance. It is understandable that patients have thoughts of ending their life during one of these stages.

The family caring for the terminally ill also goes through five stages of grief: Crisis, unity, upheaval, resolution and renewal.

A stronger family emerges as they share fond memories with their dying family member, treasuring every remaining moment.

Euthanasia short-circuits the natural process of death and grief.
http://www.todayonline.com/voices/euthanasia-short-circuits-natural-process-death-grief

Original letter: Life has intrinsic value and there are values above and beyond our personal choices. (Govt should consider tweaking laws on euthanasia; 25 September). Mr Teo assumed that the only objections to euthanasia are religious. Objections to euthanasia include the fact that it is contrary to the fundamental right to life, medical ethics and have serious risks of abuse where these practices are legal. 

The right to life is a fundamental human right protected by various international human rights instruments as well as our Constitution. In a case in 2002, the European Court of Human Rights declared that the right to life under the European Convention could not be interpreted as conferring a "right to die".

The relaxation of laws protecting life does not only affect some, but also fundamentally alters the value of all human life, especially that of the vulnerable or those who are terminally ill.

Singapore already has the Advance Medical Directive Act, which allows people to reject extraordinary life-sustaining treatment when they are terminally ill and unconscious. During the debates on the Advance Medical Directive in 1996, the National Medical Ethics Committee took the position that euthanasia was wrong and the committee did not condone it under any circumstance. 

Despite strict legislative requirements, a 2010 Canadian Medical Association Journal study found that 32 per cent of assisted deaths in the Flanders region of Belgium occurred in the absence of request or consent. The European Institute of Bioethics also released a 10-year study in 2012 that noted several abuses of the law in Belgium, such as ignoring legislation that required a written declaration of a desire for euthanasia by either the patient or a surrogate.

Mr Teo recognized that euthanasia is against the natural order of things when he claimed that some believed that life should not be "interfered with unnaturally". Also, laws cannot and do not "bestow" freedom upon anyone; they can respect or violate human dignity. It follows, then, that man-made laws derive their moral legitimacy from and should conform to the natural law, rather than the mere expectations of society.

The progress of a society is seen in how compassionate it is in supporting the terminally ill and their families. Cancer support groups like the Singapore Cancer Society and The Revival Connection are created specifically to help address the different concerns of cancer patients and their family members, helping them to ease their emotional burden.

The terminally ill goes through five stages of grief; denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. It is understandable that patients have thoughts of ending their lives during one of these stages. Families would not have the significance they do for us if they did not, in fact, give us a claim upon one another. We are thrown together and asked to share the burdens of life while learning to care for one another. 

The family caring for the terminally ill also goes through five stages of grief; crisis, unity, upheaval, resolution and renewal. A stronger family emerges as members learn to resolve longstanding issues, heal wounds and redefine one's role in the family. 
They share fond memories with their dying family member, treasuring every remaining moment. Euthanasia short-circuits the natural process of death and grief.

People with mental illness need a listening ear, link to resources

As a person who struggled with major depression during my early 20s, I view love, empathy and support as most important in caring for people with mental illnesses (“Demystifying depression and other mental illnesses”; Sept 14).

As I was born with brittle bones that resulted in countless surgeries since I was seven years old, the sudden death of my mother to cancer during my A levels was one of the many factors that triggered my depression.

This, coupled with family circumstances and my strong personality, brought me to the brink of death. My suicide attempt was a cry for help. I did not want to die. I just did not know what to do with my life, thinking that no one cared.

When I saw how distraught my family members were in the intensive care unit, it occurred to me that this life is not my own.

My death would have caused unresolved grief to my family.

Those who have died through suicide never got to witness all these. If they had, they would probably not have committed suicide.

I never felt that I was not accorded dignity by people during my depressive episodes. It was I who did not give dignity for myself. I was wallowing in self-pity and expected pity from others.

I was self-righteous, expecting people to succumb to my whims and wants simply because I saw myself as a victim.

I am grateful I had a psychiatrist who showed me great empathy and trusted in me to heal. It was his unwavering support that helped me persevere.

People struggling with mental illnesses do not thrive on pity.

They already have dignity. Like any other person when times are challenging, all they need is a listening ear and the link to resources.

Love and support from family and friends draw out their potential to overcome any situation.

My compliance with taking medication and working closely with my psychiatrist helped with my recovery. I learnt more about myself and accumulated precious life lessons through depression. Having a robust faith also reminds me that I am responsible for my choices.
http://www.todayonline.com/voices/people-mental-illness-need-listening-ear-link-resources

We bring life to this dying world

I truly love the way God reveals Himself through our past, the struggles we go through, the relationships and conflicts that we have with others, our work, our passion, our lifestyle, our habits...He reveals His character, His plans (bit by bit), His humor, His wholeheartedness in wanting to bring out the best in us, His determination to make sure that we rise up, BUT only if we allow Him to.

He molds us in tests, He helps us to grow in Him by the growing death of self.

In truth, loving God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength requires the whole of me, not 'No, Lord' when times are bad. If God is truly Lord, do we say no to Him? If we have the choice of saying no, then He definitely is not the Lord of our lives.

Many things I can choose not to do to avoid trouble, conflicts, pain...to be a 'yes' woman to what people say. I can jolly well hide away in my 'christianity' world, naively thinking that I'm leading a 'godly' life, close my mind and heart to all that's happening because hey, I just commune with God. He is God, I'm His princess, full-stop. But I am fully convinced that our lives is not a full-stop when we come to Christ. It is the beginning of many commas, question marks and exclamation marks. Even in heaven, we do not stop worshiping the One who knows it all.

Worship is a lifestyle. If people ask why I always talk about God, that's because He is my life, just like how parents will not stop talking about their children or anything that is top priority in their lives. Nothing to do with talking about God means being holy...You don't become holy by talking about God. You become more like Him by knowing, loving Him and His people and applying what He has taught.

Growing in Christ is very painful. No wonder many do not even want to come close to Him. We have to say no to self to say yes to Him. We used to be the kings and queens of our lives but now we have to say more and more goodbyes to ourselves each time we need to stretch and tear. Tears is the crying out of pain. After the old skin is taken away, the new skin is red but beautiful, swollen but will heal. Just like my scar on my arm. No longer painful but a part of me, a mark of His faithfulness to me, a mark of my growing trust in Him.

In this dying world, we bring life. If that is not our purpose in this life, I don't know why we are here. The easiest way is to opt out and short-change yourself. You will actually go through more unnecessary tests and pain that would have been learnt earlier if you had allowed Him into your life. Either way, pain is inevitable. The difference is the One who heals your pain is the One who loves you before you were born. You are safe in His loving arms rather than your own.

Separate us from dross

It's not easy to be parents. No parent has practical experience on how to parent his first child. The closest is to learn through modeling from his parents (either positive or negative) or from books, peers, mentors, relatives...

For those who are in Christ, we learn from our perfect Parent: our Father in heaven.

I'm not a parent. At most, I'm a spiritual parent who aspires to learn from my Father. 
What I can give my kids now is vastly different from when I first started teaching. 
Then, I looked at them as just another assignment, a chore, at most; a cute little face now and then. They were just a means to an end. They were too noisy to be cute actually.

A prayerful Baptism made a great difference. My life changed quite a bit, more than when I first received Christ in 2006. I respect every family who is not ready to receive the God I worshiped. I do not impose and neither can one impose cos Jesus is a Gentleman. 
From 7 years old till my years of wandering, has no one shared Christ with me? Of cos. 
Just leave me at arm's length and don't bother me while I 'enjoy' my life.

Only when tragedies hit and man is at his utmost desperation will one look above and ask, "Where is God in the midst of this injustice?"

Man's sufferings seem like injustice, no matter what or who caused it.

Those who know me before and after, I know you are just as ecstatic as me in how much I have changed. I always laugh at how I would react when something like this happened in the past. I'm proud of the God in me, not with myself. 

There's nothing in me that warrants pride. I was telling a church mate that as I ate my noodles the other day, I was like swallowing (accepting) all that had happened. 
And I have to eat humble pie. When Pastor Michael talked about self-denial, this made me crumble. I didn't know self-denial tastes like this. 

And I know this is just the appetizer. 
Come on, haven't I known that life in Christ is taking up His cross and denying self? 
Didn't I sign up for this in 2006?

No, I only tried Jesus because I had come to a dead end.

Then I have heard, read and seen that in others. To me? Maybe later...later...not now...

We long to delay hardships but please don't delay our gratification.

We love roses but please take away the thorns.

We love You Jesus but please don't let me suffer like You.

Jesus loves me for my loveliness which He has created but He loves me all: even my rottenness.

Eat an apple but don't want to see the seed? Then where does the apple come from?

To our Father:

Refine us and assay us. Let us be purged as gold and silver, that we are separated from dross!