The sanctity of the family unit

This letter was sent to ST Forum but was not published.

The national policy that supports parenthood in the context of marriage needs to be weighed in as the government reviews benefits for unwed mothers. ("Review of benefits for unwed mothers"; July 29)  

In the White Paper on Shared Values (1991), "The sanctity of the family unit is not a value unique to Singapore. All major faiths consider this a cardinal virtue. The family is the fundamental building block out of which larger social structures can be stably constructed. It is the group within which human beings most naturally express their love for parents, spouse and children, and find happiness and fulfilment. It is the best way human societies have found to provide children a secure and nurturing environment in which to grow up, to pass on the society's store of wisdom and experience from generation to generation, and to look after the needs of the elderly. 

In recent decades many developed societies have witnessed a trend towards heavier reliance on the state to take care of the aged, and more permissive social mores, such as increasing acceptance of"alternative lifestyles", casual sexual relationships and single parenthood. The result has been to weaken the family unit. Singapore should not follow these untested fashions uncritically."

In view of that, benefits that are intended to support marriages and births within the context of families are given only to married mothers. The government recognizes that an intact family enhances family stability that in turn enables a child to thrive in a conducive environment. Such benefits should be differentiated from help rendered to unwed mothers.  

The family is the first line of support for anyone needing help. Whenever possible, the father should be actively involved in parenting the child as no mother can replace the equally important and yet unique role of a father. 

Unwed mothers can also seek help from private, religious and non-governmental organizations as the help needed can be wide-ranging. It is when the larger community is involved that people bond together and build a caring society. Governmental help is the last resort.

A child's well-being is affected powerfully by the structure of a family. When marriage is promoted and families are strengthened, women, children and the underprivileged would not suffer needless emotional and material hardships.