5th letter to our beloved Emmanuelle

Hey sweetheart,

God is so good.

This month I got to see you on 5 Oct at LifeFest, unexpectedly on 16 Oct for family dinner and today at C's thanksgiving celebration. 

This is 3 times our usual monthly meeting.

God answered my prayer that at the family dinner, you warmed up easily to me. 

You were so sweet to nuzzle at my chest again.

I think you feel more secure when mummy is around, like today.

So now you can Hi5, do peekaboo. 

I thought you were sleepy but actually you were doing peekaboo with me.

You are growing so fast!

Today, I was surprised to discover that you did this a few times: you lowered your head, closed your eyes and pouted. Faking a cry.

Hahaha, I was so amused. 

Now I know you are up to your tricks.

You can play with us now!

I wanted to snap a picture of you doing that but I don't want to encourage that expression, no matter how cute it is.

Maybe next time? Can't resist your tricks.

I feel much relaxed now.

These letters have a therapeutic effect on me.

It's so hard to find someone who can understand my awkward position, all the struggles that I have been through...

All the misunderstandings and accusations have accumulated such that I have no strength or desire to defend myself anymore.

I guess I no longer care who thinks what about me.

For a worthy cause I choose to let go of all the distractions.

I trust that one day God will make all of us face what we don't want to face.

May there be witnesses to bring about reconciliation.

Most importantly is, we must choose to forgive.

God will bring about that closure.

I can't do that based on my own strength.

I tried before and it didn't work.  

But hey darling, I remember this awesome ending that God brought about.

It didn't sink in when I heard that the Medical Social Worker at KKH left her job.

Really praise God for removing her from that authority at KKH.

See how God works?

I didn't need to avenge myself.

God is our Avenger!

"I will always remember this phone conversation which I believe one day I will testify about it in front of medical professionals.

KKH Medical Social Worker : Why are you against abortion? Is it because of religion?

Important to note that prior to this phonecall, I have not seen the social worker and she did not even know if I have a religion. Nevermind that my faith has nothing to do with my answer.

Me: Because this is a child. (Common sense, no? Do I even need to bring God into the picture?)

I have friends who were traumatised after an abortion.

KKH Medical Social Worker : But there are patients who are not traumatised...

In my mind,

1. Did you do follow-up after their abortion? Did you do a survey of how they have been a few years after the abortion?

How do you even know post-abortive women are not traumatised?

You close the case, you close your eyes. Because you are not the one aborting your child.

I know because I have read and heard real cases. I know because if my loved one had an abortion, I can totally imagine the greater hurt to her and the family.

2. The Social Worker is very unprofessional.
You are not supposed to bring your biased opinions into the case.

Always ask open questions.

But it's true. None of us is neutral, especially on life and death issues. I don't blame her on the account that she is as human as me.

But her professionalism is questionable. I heard that she has left her workplace. I have nothing to do with it.

Praise the Lord!"

We praise our Lord!

I love you, baby.

No amount of words can express that love for you.

Don't you dare to question if you are loved.

Thanks for listening to me.