8th letter to our beloved Emmanuelle

Hey happy baby,

Sometimes I wonder if I should continue writing to you.
When will you understand what I'm writing?
Last Friday I went to a new cell group and it was so unbearable that I wanted to leave as soon as I came.
I guess I cannot gel with people who talk about God as if He is a fairy tale and not real to our lives.
They did not have the normal cell discussion.
A member was sharing about what she studied in a bible school and the topic for her assignment was "Is God racist or hospitable?"
I nearly fainted.
Is this even worth a debate?
The answers that she gave actually answered the question that I said should be reframed as "Are we racist or hospitable?
Apologetics has its place.
Maybe I wasn't in a mood for such stuff now or maybe I had too much of this in the past.
Now I just want to apply what I have learnt to my life and the lives of others.
I really don't care if you are a bible scholar or whatever.
There's a great difference between knowing about God vs knowing God.
I don't want to waste a second of my life speculating about the God I love while busy covering myself with fig leaves.
Let's start being serious about life, ya?
So yesterday I went back to my old cell group where there is plenty of kids and lots of love.
I have been there for 8 years.
Does going to another church means I shouldn't stay in the old cell group?
They are always welcoming me.
It is I who don't know if I should continue to stay in my comfort zone.
I met baby Hannah, 2 months old.
Her mummy just let me carry her baby without me asking.
So I was rewarded with the fresh memory of you in my arms at 2 months old.
Aiyo so cute. She is also fat fat and she was delivered naturally within 2 hours.
She was 3kg then. Now she is 5kg.
Wa, fatfat, you took us a whole day and more ok.
I scold you when you can understand me haha.
Though it's not your fault la.
Then I met a 2+ years old gal.
Wow, she is quite playful. She "spat" at me, thinking she was playing with me.
I was amused and helpless ;O
But if it's you, ahhhhh, you don't know that I'm fierce.
I don't know why people think I'm fierce.
Haha, maybe I am...
So I saw "you" in the past, I saw "you" in the near future.
I just watched a video about Lina Ng who had her premature son at nearly 1kg, the size of her palm at 8 months of gestation.
Wow, thank God you were fatfat and are still fat. Haha.
2 days of special care is nothing compared to 2 months in NICU.
Mothers are really amazing ah.
Of course no fathers, then no cuties like you.
I like to tell people, if only the husband can give birth too.
Then can be fruitful and multiply by taking turns to give birth, good right?
Ok, people laughed at me :(
It's a good idea, my child.
But God has His purpose for why only women have this privilege.
Though I'm not a biological mum, I have maternal instinct too.
See, I'm blessed with the 7 of you, especially you, our youngest and most vulnerable babe.
Oh, you are actually a toddler now, no longer a baby lor.
May you be wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove.
May you always have a childlike faith.
Don't lose that purity in you.
Behold the God you will grow to love.
December is coming.
I love December.
The month of your birth, the month of my rebirth.
Grow well, toddler Emmanuelle...