Mr Ho begot V, C, C and S by Madam Lim and L, L, J by Madam X.
L begot Emmanuelle with Y.
Hello baby Emmanuelle,
Since yesterday, God has reminded me that I was so silly to worry about losing you.
You are so blessed to receive so much community support because you couldn't stay with any of us.
I am most grateful to them.
Every single person.
My heart always ache when I see your innocent face.
God has impressed upon me that this is a season that you are away.
Everyone can love you but mummy and you belong to our family.
No matter how broken this family is, God put all of us in this family for His great purposes.
Love this broken family.
In the brokenness, God's light shone in, is shining in and will continue to illuminate the darkness within until there is only His light.
God is in the ministry of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5)
I won't be sharing too many details of our family here because I want to honor your parents and our family.
But when you are old enough to understand more, I will tell you what I know.
I just want to say that you have a father. It is a lie when people say that you have no father.
How else could you be born, darling?
It takes a father and a mother to birth a cutie like you.
Your father has not grown up to take responsibility for you.
And many times, it is not just a father's fault.
I believe with all my heart that one day, God will bring the heart of your father to you, and the heart of yours to your father. (Malachi 4:6)
See how God has done that to your grandpa and me!
Though your grandpa and I do not have a deep relationship, I am learning to honour him.
(Genesis 9:23)
Ah Yi is not perfect. I have made mistakes and caused stress to your mummy in the process of trying to help her.
I have apologised to her.
That's why now I only see you at most once a month because I don't want to add any stress to her or to myself.
Not that I don't care or don't love you or don't cooperate with others but that it has been so hard on my mind, soul and body.
Life with you is a worthy marathon.
God is teaching me to pace myself, not to be controlling, not to be easily angered or distressed.
Baby, there is so much I want to share with you on longsuffering in trial and pain.
I don't want to shelter you or your mummy from the storms of life.
That's God's power, not mine.
Here are some reasons for these letters to you.
- I pray that you will know your roots. Many people would tell you what they do not know about our family. Know it from the source. Come and ask your mum, me and others in the family. Don't trust the words of well-meaning outsiders. If I as a family member don't know our family well, tell me how these people can presume anything or criticise our family based on what they do not know?
Only God has the full picture. I don't have, your mum does not have, you will not have, not to mention any person outside our family.
- Mummy and you should not stay as victims of sin. All of us are victims of the fall. Do not pity yourself, overcome that rejection spirit and come to the throne of grace to receive God's mercy and grace. God's grace has not been quiet towards our family. Ah Yi wants to leave you a legacy of God's power and might. His lovingkindness will bring you and everyone who has yet to know Him to repentance. These letters are testimonies of how God works in our lives to deliver you from the evil one. As I write all these, I am reminded of how He pulled me through this 1 year 5 months since knowing your existence.
- My peers and I may have thought that in an unsupported pregnancy, we want to help mother and child. Of course. But God revealed to me through you that an unsupported pregnancy is not a personal crisis. It is a family crisis. If there is at least one life supporter in the family, abortion would be unthinkable and undesirable. I was the only one, besides your mum, who fought for your life. I paid a high price of great tensions in the family, lots of conflicts, great agony and spiritual attack just to ensure that you are safe until no one can touch you at 24 weeks. Of course the great bulk of stress fell on your mum. I have great respect for her courage to keep you at all cost. I can help but if your mummy did not persevere, you would have been like the more than 660,000 babies who have perished in the womb since 1970.
So live well, my darling. The Lord preserves your life not for nothing! I like Lila Rose lor. Maybe you would be our next pro-life generation who speaks up for the lives of others. Can I get an amen from you, sweetie? Ok, I wait till you are older to consent to this, ok?
- It has been a very lonely journey as a sole life supporter in our family. I am convinced that there must be more people like me who are torn between family members while trying to preserve a life. I pray that Papa God can search them out and come, let's start a love revolution that will tell the world that because Jesus died and rose again, NO BABY needs to die in any difficult circumstance.
Baby Emmanuelle, you are not my idol.
You are a child given by God. We are to be great stewards of everything that God has given us.
Ah Yi loves you but I love God the most.
For God so loved you and me and the world so much that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins and shame.
Our sins and shame have been nailed to the cross.
These letters are evidence of His love for our family.
Jesus loves you, baby.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.